Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Muse "Time is Running Out" ::
I have a difficult time getting to sleep quite often. I don't know what it is. Well, sure, some of it is that when I settle into the bed for the night, my brain is still going 100 miles an hour thinking about all the stuff I forgot during the day and worrying about stupid things like paying bills and "what if the zombie apocalypse happens as I'm falling asleep". You might be thinking that maybe I'm just not tired enough when I go to bed. That is probably sometimes true. Can't rule it out for certainty, however, there are nights when I stay up until my eyes lids are drooping and my head is starting to literally lilt under its own weight and I drag my tucked out ass off to bed and then NOTHING HAPPENS. I just... lie there. That is so frustrating. When I'm "overtired" and can't fall asleep, it usually gives me a headache. It's like I'm trying to "will" myself to sleep that it hurts my brain in the process or something. But, the only headache medicine that helps me is Excedrine and there is caffeine in that so I can't take it if I plan on sleeping soon. IRONY! Also, it should be known that I absolutely cannot sleep in total silence. I just can't. If it is TOO quiet and I can't sleep, then I become wide awake just as I'm dozing off to the slightest sound. A car driving past, a gust of wind, a house settling creak, it is all so jarring to me when I'm drowsy. It's like I suddenly have ninja reflexes and I'm hyper-aware, but only when I want to sleep! Come on! It would be so cool to have Superman-like hearing in my day-to-day life, but noooooooooooooo, only when falling asleep, thus preventing me from sleeping!! Aaaaa! To combat this, I have a white noise generator, which helps me greatly. It muffles out ambient noises just enough and its constant drone settles my overactive brain pretty well. I've become pretty dependent on that thing, though. Heaven help me if I'm in a situation where I'll need to sleep and I haven't got the white noise. It's like a drug! I'm helpless without it! Oh, and forget taking sleeping pills! More often than not I need to be somewhere in the mornings for work, so unless I'm going to bed really early, it seems like I'm never asleep long enough for the effects of the pills to have worn off. Even after a full eight hours, I feel like I can't wake up properly in the mornings after taking sleeping pills. The pill packaging lies! You need at least a good TEN hours of sleep to be able to wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after a pill-induced sleep. Do you know what else happens? I get to bed and fall asleep just perfectly. It's a miracle, right? Wrong. Then I wake up for no reason at like 4am and can't get back to sleep to save my life. My alarm was set for 7am, like a normal day, but then I suddenly wake up. I look at the clock and know I have three more hours, and boy, could I use them, so I settle back in and, yep, just lie there! WHYYYYYY!! Why does my brain betray me so? Is it just my brain, or is it a vast brain conspiracy? If you have this problem, too, then I say we rise up and fight our brains! Just say "no" to your brain controlling your life! Just who does that brain think it is? So high and mighty... like it's better than me.... guh... urgle... blegh... derp.... ... *cough* I think I may have just had a small stroke. You win this round, brain. Well played.
William the Bloody (nodding off)
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