Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: L'arc-en-Ciel "Ready Steady Go" ::
As a geek of many hats, I have partaken in my share of what you kids call "anime." I could by no means win in an anime geek match with that guy down at the video store or anything (You know that guy... there is always one anime geek working at the video store. The scary kind.), but I have been around the block at least once. After viewing many different animes of many different genres, I've come to the conclusion that, hey, I can do this!! What I need to make William's Ultimate Anime:
A giant "mecha" robot.
A giant "mecha" robot fight.
A warrior with a physically improbable weapon.
Some sort of bizarre yet insanely cute critter.
A character with impossibly pointy hair.
A character with an unnatural hair colour.
Either a supernatural character or a character with a supernatural ability who wears an outlandish yet somehow cool outfit.
A martial arts fight.
A magical girl with some sort of transformation sequence.
An elderly person who seems feeble but is a martial arts master.
Either a slutty-ish girl character or a lecherous male character or both who will fight with each other a lot.
At least one ridiculously drawn out fight sequence that has great animation.
A male character who is so feminine looking you are unsure of his gender for a while.
Somebody with a REALLY big gun.
A girl who is gifted with mechanics, whether it be on the computer or building or fixing machines.
A hot babe who is nasty-mean.
A girl who wears a school uniform.
A character with an English language name. Not necessarily an English name like "Michael", but possibly any English word like "Spoon" or "Disco" used as a name.
A huge explosion.
An ultimate fighting technique.
There you have it! Throw those ingredients into a blender, pour over either a city under new construction or a city of futuristic wonders, bring to a boil, remove from heat and let simmer until you have a devoted fan base just waiting to find out what horrible secret the magical girl has in connection with the supernatural guy in the freaky yet super cool suit. You've read the manga! You've seen the anime! Now buy the toys to William's Ultimate Anime Extreme! Coming this fall... or maybe... never.
William (I'm an anime maniac on the floor)
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