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Rants >> Rant 9

:: Today's soundtrack: The Jazz June "That Pill Won't Calm Your Nerves" ::


Well I was eating a bowl of Trix cereal the other morning (Yeah that's right. What? You wanna fight about it?), and I was reading the box stuff. The latest thing on the Trix boxes seems to be solving a series of puzzles to figure out who is responsible for the Great Trix Train Robbery. This just started me thinking about the whole Trix ad campaign in general.

The whole thing just seems wrong on so many levels if you really think about it. Ok, here's this, um, rabbit who repeatedly attempts, through a series of shenanigans, to obtain his very own delicious treat of a bowlful of Trix cereal. However, he is subsequently denied this part of his complete breakfast because, alas, Trix are for kids.

Doesn't that make for a mean spirited premise to the product? I mean here I am, 25 years of age, and I feel that I may only purchase my own box of fruity Trix if I put on Groucho glasses and a trench coat for fear of being berated by the youngsters ahead of me in line at the checkout. I'm pretty sure if you look hard enough, you may find that the Trix commercials can be held responsible for the sadistic behavior of some of our more impressionable youth.

Its not only the mean-ness which so obviously lies in the Trix ads that bothers me. Let's look at the rabbit. Can you really even call that a rabbit? He walks upright and speaks perfect English! If an anthropomorphic creature of any species were to ask to join me for breakfast, I think I would be just so relieved that it did not intend to eat me personally that I would gladly share my fruit flavored cereal. Then I would head to a detox center.

And speaking of detox, just look at the lengths he goes through to get that Trix! He's done everything from dress in drag to participate in the X-Games to bum a taste. It could be just me, but maybe there's something in that cereal that does some serious shit to our humanoid bunny. He just seems a little bit too desperate if you ask me. Maybe the kids are right to keep it from him lest he fall off the wagon and ends up sleeping in a ditch in Mexico selling his plasma to get by. Maybe it's not that Trix are for kids, it's just that Trix aren't for walking talking bunny rabbits.

William (addicted to nothin' but love)

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