Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: The Boomtown Rats "I Don't Like Mondays" ::
Just so's everyone knows: I STILL hate Wal-Mart. Trying to keep you all updated on that. Making sure nobody out there had thought my opinion had changed. Because, you know, I CARE. "But Mister William-man, Wal-Mart is great because it has everything and it's cheap!" Okay, people who say this can just suck it. Yep.
Reasons not to like Wal-Mart:
It's so big you can never find anything if you're looking for something in particular.
It's so big and you're looking for something you can't find, good luck because the employees have no fucking clue where any of their own shit is.
Nobody who works there knows anything about anything they are selling. "Excuse me, sir, I need a blender that will also crush ice. Which of these models would you recommend? (or similar)" Response: "Um..."
Merchandise there is so inexpensive because it is all cheap as fuck crap. That's why, people. Put two and two together, alright?
Even though Wal-Marts are set up as gigantic warehouses, the acoustics are as such that a toddler pitching a fit can be heard ANYWHERE in the entire stadium sized store no matter where this child is in relation to you. Seriously, I could be just walking in and the crying child could be all the way in the back and it'll sound like he's mere yards away. Wal-Mart, did you do this on purpose?? Your architects are agents of the devil, aren't they?
In an effort to be "family friendly" Wal-Mart has been known to CENSOR or NOT SELL certain music. "Waif Me," my aunt fanny!!
Phone the customer service department only if you have at least five minutes to wait before someone actually picks up the ringing phone. Then be prepared to be put on hold.
The Wal-Mart in my area has a "fun zone" with various coin operated games. The Ms. Pac-Man there takes two quarters but only gives you ONE life as opposed to the typical THREE. WTF? You cheap quarter hoarding bastards!
And that's just the tip o' the proverbial ice burg! Never mind the numerous other actually, you know, important socio and political reasons. Do you hate Wal-Mart as well or do you think I'm (once again) whining about nothing? I'd love for you to tell me about it... Or, not. Whatevs.
William the Bloody (Wally-whirled)
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