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Rants >> Rant 176

:: Today's soundtrack: Thurl Ravenscroft "You're a Mean One, Mister Grinch" ::


Once again the X-mas holiday season is upon us. May god save our souls.

Don't get me wrong; I LIKE X-mas, I really do. But, just like anything else, it can all become so very overwhelming. There's the cards and the presents, and the parties, and the thank you notes, and the news letters, the decorations, the trees, the shopping centres full of people, people, people, the delayed shipping, the even longer queues at the post office, the forcefully cheery songs over the PA systems. You know, all that crap. It just kind of builds, wells, and swells, and just when you're ready to explode, you have that last holiday get together, exchange the last of the gifts and everyone, the universe as a whole, breathes a long sigh of relief that it is at last OVER.... until next year.

Don't you lie to me. You DO indeed feel relieved when it's all done with, don't you? It's okay, you can admit it. Trying to find the perfect gift for all of your loved ones can be a daunting task. People getting into fist fights at Toys-R-Us over the last Molest Me Elmo in stock is most definitely something we all want to avoid. Then there's the online shopping. If you wait too long there could be delays and you won't know if your item will arrive in time and you practically have a stroke until the postman brings it to your door. Of course there are the times when you think you can save big by bidding on E-bay, but then you spend hours glued to your auctions, only to get screwed over by inordinate shipping fees, the bastards. Gift certificates just feel like an impersonal cop out sometimes but hopefully the recipient will understand that you were at the end of your rope and desperate.

Then there's the ritual genocide of fir trees every December. You MUST murder an evergreen and place it in your sitting room. You just do. Then you have to lug three ginormous boxes of ornaments, lights and decorations out of the attic or basement. This all must be done as a prominent display to the neighborhood because if you don't show your X-mas spirit then by Bethlehem the FBI will show up and drag you away like a dirty red communist. All of the nailing, tying, hanging, draping, stapling, screwing, and placing of everything just SO, all for it to be taken down a month later, reboxed and heaved away to the attic or basement all over again.

I suppose this is why I enjoy Halloween more. Yes, there are parties and decoration, but none of these are felt like obligations. If someone has an X-mas party and you don't go, well, then that's just rude, but a Halloween party no one seems to mind. There's no shopping for perfect gifts, just the handing out of candy, and if you don't decorate your home then no one will say a thing. Halloween is just so much more casual and fancy free, whereas X-mas is so full of family tradition and expectations. Sometimes I wish that Halloween would catch on like X-mas and be a big deal, but then X-mas rolls around and I'm reminded of why I'm glad it isn't. While I do very much enjoy seeing everyone I care about and giving them presents (because I do, honestly), I won't pretend like it doesn't feel as though a huge weight is off once it's all over and done. When the stress of the shopping, the cards, the decorations, etc etc is all behind me and I don't have to hear Elvis sing "Blue Christmas" over the radio every hour, that's when I'll be saying "merry X-mas to all, and to all a good night" and pass out for three days.

William (holiday stressed)

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