Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Hot Hot Heat "Ladies and Gentlemen" ::
Taking a break from the holiday themed crap to bring you: Batman's Voicemail.
You have reached the BatPhone. Please listen carefully to the following message. All phone calls will be recorded and traced in order to validate the identity of the caller, calibrate the pitch and tone of their voice to determine lies, and to pinpoint the location where the call was made.
I'm sorry, but the Batman is not available to take your call. If you would like to leave The Batman a message, press zero and you may do so at any point during this recording. If you are presently being murdered or calling from a rotary phone, please hang up and use the BatSignal and someone will respond to your emergency shortly.
If you are trying to reach Nightwing, press one.
If you are trying to reach Robin, press two.
If you need to access information from the BatComputer, have your password ready and press three.
If you are trying to reach BatWoman, she is not affiliated with The Batman so quit calling here.
If you are trying to reach BatGirl hang up and call the League of Assassins for more information (they are in the yellow pages).
If you are experiencing a relapse of symptoms of The Clench, please hang up and contact STAR Labs immediately.
If you are a member of the Justice League looking for The Batman for a mission or to remind him about a meeting, funeral, or birthday party, please contact the Martian Manhunter to establish a telepathic link.
If you have information regarding a future Crime of the Century, a treacherous scheme which will threaten the health and welfare of Gotham City, a kidnapping, assassination, mob activity, or purse snatching, please press the star key.
If you would like to report a sighting of one of the members of The Batman's rogue's gallery, press pound.
If you have seen the Joker, hang up and make peace with your god.
If you have questions regarding property damage, injuries, or death which were sustained during The Batman's actions to stop a crime or heinous activity, hang up and call the Law Offices of Aday, Tyler and Steinman.
To end this call, press nine.
Thank you, goodbye.
William (stay on the line)
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