Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Splendora "You're Standing on My Neck" ::
Dear Mtv:
I wanted you to know that I have purchased a DVD box set containing every episode of Daria, including the two movies, and that I enjoy it greatly. But wait, I'm sure you are asking yourself how could this be since there is no such set of DVDs released by you, Mtv. This is so because I was reduced to buying a bootleg set at a convention, so strong was my love for this show and so low was my resistance to finding such a treasure. The table at the convention was almost exclusively bootlegged material, of that there was no doubt, yet I glanced over its wares regardless, and my eyes settled squarely on that unforgettable green jacketed brunette. "How much?" I asked the man selling these goods, my hands wringing, my mouth nearly salivating. "Fifty bucks," he stated matter of factly, and I replied "SOLD," even more so, for know this, I would have paid even more to own this set in its bootlegged form. So, yes, I paid the man and went on my merry way, and began watching these wonderful episodes practically the very moment I got home. As is nearly always the case with bootleg copies of any television series, the audio and video quality fluctuates, oftentimes being rather muffled, but I knew what I was getting into with an amateur analogue to digital transfer. I would have gladly paid the man more than what I had given him knowing full well that some guy had recorded these episodes on VHS off his television, realizing this would mean the occasional stray advert creeping in, episodes taped off of marathons with replacement (re: not the original) commercial bumpers, once in a while getting episodes from syndication which were mildly edited, and even sometimes lacking the full opening and/or ending title sequences. Now that you are aware of these facts, I hope you are asking yourself, Mtv, that if I were willing to pay fifty dollars of my hard earned monies for what I knew would be a far from perfect compilation of a series, how much do think I would have been willing to pay for a perfect, officially released and licensed version?
I had been burned by bad bootleg DVDs before. Sometimes they sputter and skip, or freeze on the screen in an infinite pause which can only be released by turning the player off then on again. Yet, I was willing to take this risk with my fifty dollars for a complete collection of Daria. If I knew for an absolute fact that every episode would be in its originally aired entirety, including commercial bumpers and opening and closing credits, with all of the music intact and that it would play flawlessly in my PS2, then I would have gladly paid one and half times what I did. However, when it comes to bootlegs, there really is no way to be sure, is there? The only way to be 100% you're getting what you pay for is if you buy the official release. Think about that, Mtv. Never mind how much more I might be willing to shell out for decent extra features. If you were to include the unaired "Sealed With a Kick" pilot as well as cast and crew interviews, possibly documentaries and whatnot, who knows what dollar amount I'd willingly surrender in the name of my beloved, bespectacled Daria.
The fact of the matter is, Mtv, that there are around 5,000 fans out there who are looking, and even begging for an official release of Daria, but you have yet to deliver. We want it so badly that we get it bootlegged from conventions or torrents on the internet. Do you hear me, Mtv? We, the fans, WANT to give you our money, but you won't let us. We know you are having difficulties over the rights to the songs in the episodes. We know, and we are willing to make it worth your while. We have all but stated, "name your price," hoping to compensate you for your losses in giving us the quality product we demand. Think about those 5,000 fans and their seventy or maybe even hundred dollars each for the perfect, all-in-one Daria collection. What do we have to do, hand you a blank check?
Mtv, Daria ended in 2002. We have been waiting long enough. I know that even though I have purchased a bootleg set, that I would still be willing to buy an official release from you as soon as I know it's out there. I can't say that all of the fans will do the same. Every year you make us wait, more fans surrender to the simple availability of the bootleg and those are possibly potential sales lost to you. Mtv, you need to act before it is too late. Stop holding Daria hostage and release her to her adoring fans. Seriously Mtv, if you can release episodes of Beavis & Butt-head WITH the music videos on the Mike Judge collections, then I think Daria with the original music intact isn't too much to ask.
Sincerely,
William the Bloody (Daria aficionado and general appreciator of fine television)
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