Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Depeche Mode "Policy of Truth" ::
There are a few of you out there who have managed to locate the super secret "About Me" page on this here site. You few folks will probably recall that I divulge a little personal info about myself on there. The page is slightly hidden, so I don't feel as self conscious posting that sort of thing there. You few might even remember a little tid bit concerning something about myself for which I am ashamed. Right now, for the first time out in the open, I, William the Bloody am going to admit to everyone this very thing. Yes, that's right, I own a cowboy hat. There. I said it. And it feels sort of good to get that off my chest.
I know, some of you feel a little deceived after discovering this truth. Here I had led on to be some sort of relatively "cool person" when I had a cowboy hat in my possession this whole time!! Oh, I can go on about all the cool-ass art house movies I've seen, the mischief I've gotten into at conventions with comparatively famous people, how I'm a decent library of knowledge when it comes to goth music, culture and film, can quote from nearly anything I've ever seen be it literature, television or movie even if I've only seen it once, that I own a good array of fine black clothes including articles of leather and stuff with spikes, studs, D rings, and chains on it, and so on thusly giving everyone the idea that I'm pretty cool. Well there are more deep, dark, and disturbing secrets about your dear William which would indeed shatter your general perception of his apperceived coolness.
One such fact....
In addition to my loudly touted affection for my favourite band The Cure, as well as the close runners up of New Order, Joy Division, Siouxsie & the Banshees, The Smiths, The Clash and others, I also secretly carry a torch for Billy Joel. AAAAAAA!!!! "Adult contemporary" type "elevator music", I know! So strong is my love for piano music that I simply can't help myself! I know all the words to "Piano Man"! I actually own several Billy Joel albums, too! Some on vinyl record!
I'm a known appreciator of fine film. The scope of great cinema I find can span many genres such as horror, sci-fi, human drama, and more. I can discuss a movie's use of light and shadow, the importance of good editing, camera angles and art direction. However... I really get a kick out of Bring it On. You know, that silly cheerleader movie? Yeah, I like it. More than I ought to. I also really, really like the Rush Hour movies, though I have yet to see the third one, but plan on it. I can quote lines from them. There are bad movies that I like, but I enjoy them in a campy or ironic way. Not these. I simply like them as they are. What the hell?
Most of my clothes are indeed black, but not all. Let's be realistic here. Usually though, I do have black on. Sometimes it's a white shirt with black pants, or a black shirt with blue jeans, but yeah quite often it's all black. But, well.... I do in fact own khaki trousers. I do. I like to look professional and I have many business meetings or classes to teach, and khakis just work for that. But then, they started creeping into some of my everyday clothes, too!! EEEEEEE! Not a goth/punk like me! Nooooooooooooooo!
People know I collect comic books. I know a great deal about the X-men, Spider-Man and Batman, but I also get into horror and goth comics, too. Wellllll.... I also greatly enjoy what many would call "girl" comics. I own every issue of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane, alright?? I was also really excited when I heard about DC's MINX line of girl-oriented digest sized comics because most of them looked so darn good. I really want to read The Re-Gifters and maybe Good As Lily as well. A grown man who likes little girl comics?? I know, I know!
Also, despite the fact that I am 6 feet, 5 inches tall and broader in the shoulders than your average line backer, I have a very, very light and severely unthreatening voice. I can stand there and appear to be scary all I want, but the exact instant I open my mouth all hints of scariness flutter away into the night. It's kind of a a disappointment, really. I mean, you'd hope that a lumbering swamp beast of a man like me would have a deep, James Earl Jones thing going on, when that is simply not the case. Damn it all.
I like to take bubblebaths.
*Insert the sound of glass breaking*
Yes, that was your mental image of me and my coolness just shattering into little, tiny, unsavable pieces. That's right, gone are all illusions that I was even the slightest bit cool at all. I won't hold it against you if you leave and never return for my deliberate attempt to shield the horrifying truth from internetters such as yourself. I tried not to out and out lie; merely omit certain facts in order to maintain a proper air of coolness. But now the truth is out there and I'm a huge dorky weirdo. Sorry about that.
William the Bloody (not as cool as you)
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