Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: The Romantics "Talking in Your Sleep" ::
So this gal I know on the internets has "nominated" me for this thing. It's called The Honest Scrap Blogger Award, and now I am compelled to talk about ten things no one knows about me. Bad for me and my many attempts at mystique, good for my cyber-stalker set (you know who you are). I figured it gives me something to talk about, and it wasn't MY idea so I can at least shunt some of the blame onto other parties if no one likes the end result. Therefore:
1. The very first prerecorded music I ever owned (having sustained for more than a decade on the radio and mix tapes sponged off the radio and other people's collections) was Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation. I got it for free when I bought my first new (not second hand) boombox in 1989 (I think). And this is so embarrassing it simply must be true.
2. Being a man of a large stature with line backer type shoulders, I can look like an imposing figure. However, this illusion is shattered once I speak because I have a very non-threatening and friendly sounding voice.
3. I have worn a kilt on more than one occasion, these being to various Renaissance Festivals and one wedding.
4. Despite the fact that I despise children, I am actually very good with them.
5. I read every tweet of the people whom I follow on Twitter have posted. Every. One. I just don't want to miss anything good, interesting, funny, etc.
6. I cannot sleep in total silence. I think this goes back to my childhood where the refrigerator was right outside my bedroom door and that I had a clock that made ticking noise. These days I have a humidifier that hums, though almost any white noise will make me sleepy.
7. The Cure is my favourite band, but I haven't seen them perform live since 2000 on their Bloodflowers tour, and this makes me sad.
8. I think piano music is some of the most beautiful music in the whole wide world and people who can play it well are sexy.
9. Having grown up in a mountainous region, I find it very weird and uncomfortable when I travel to places that are flat. I'm talking about wide, open plains where you can see for miles straight on. Cities do not bother me like this because the tall buildings prevent the feeling of exposure. The oddest experience of all was when I visited the island of Grand Turk in 2008. The island is flat as a pancake save for small buildings and trees. You can stand anywhere on it and see straight across to the open ocean in every direction. It felt as though it wouldn't take much for the whole place to be swallowed up by the ocean once and for all. Give me the security of a mountain town 1,000 feet about sea level any day.
10. You would never know it to look at me, but I was born premature and underweight. My mother had to go to a special hospital in Vermont to give birth to me because of the dead fetus with whom I was sharing the womb. Did I forget to mention the dead fetus before? Yeah, it was there. Ah, memories.
Now then, the secondary part of this scrupulous nomination is to acknowledge Paperclippe, the devious woman who nominated me. The, um, third-i-ary part that now I must nominate ten people I know who "blog" for this. Unfortunately, I do not know ten people who blog. I think I know four, not including the nefarious and aforementioned Paperclippe, but I have no desire to encumber them with such a bizarre, er, "honour." Similarly, I am also notorious for not advancing chain letters, which is probably why my existence is jinxed to the high heavens. And if I wasn't jinxed before I am now because I just penned a rant which includes the mention of a "dead fetus" and this isn't the hilarious sort of dead fetus, either. You know, as dead fetuses often are. Hilarious. With that wondrously uplifting note, I bid you adieu.
William the Bloody (no mystery)
comments powered by Disqus