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Rants >> Rant 331

::Today's soundtrack: Aretha Franklin "Think" ::


Do you know what group of people has earned my ire recently? Vegans. Lord, do I despise Vegans. I have made an amicable peace with vegetarians. We may not be getting married any time soon, but at least we can have dinner together civilly. I mean, I can understand most vegetarians. Who LIKES animal cruelty? Who DOESN'T want to save furry, cute animals?? Satanists, that's who. Oh, no, I am not a vegetarian. I could never give up bacon. However, I buy all of my own meat from a local butcher, who in turn buys his meat from a local farm. I know where this farm is. I have been there. The farm animals are NOT mistreated. Not everyone has that luxury, though, and some people feel that if they don't know how the animal they are eating was treated while it was alive, then they'd rather not eat it. I get that.

This is what I do NOT get when it comes to Vegans.

No dairy. Okay, what the hell. I can understand how way back when people were pumping the cows full of dangerous and harmful hormones to increase milk production. This is no longer the case. Ever since that scandal broke, many dairies tout the fact that they are "hormone-free." And here's another thing about the subject: cows actually LIKE to be milked!! They do! I've BEEN to a dairy farm and seen the cows practically line up for it! Liken them to a nursing human mother. There's a reason why women need breast pumps, you know. The milk production causes an uncomfortable pressure, so why WOULDN'T a milk producing cow WANT to be milked? It isn't mean or subjugating to the cow to milk it. Shut up, you Vegans!

Why won't you eat eggs, either? Look, chickens lay eggs, okay? It's like... their thing. They do it whether or not they have any contact with a rooster. We as humans do not have to "do" anything to them to get them to lay eggs. If you have a problem with the factory farmed chickens, then buy free range grown chicken and eggs. Guess what? The farms who use free range methods usually advertise the hell out of it, so it would be easy to get eggs from chickens which are allowed to run around rather than caged. However, many Vegans still maintain that we hold the chickens against their will. I would like to remind them that there are more chickens alive in the world than any other bird. How often do you see a chicken in the wild? It is possible that chickens would not thrive as well as they do if humans did not use them as a source of food. It's almost a symbiotic relationship. (And on the subject of "holding chickens against their will"... I guess this means that no Vegans have any pets? Like a cat or dog? That pet would be being held against its will, wouldn't it? Did you ASK the cat about living with you?)

And then there's the peripheral stuff like, oh say, honey. There are Vegans who will not eat honey because the bees are "enslaved" and we are taking their honey "without their permission." Alright, bees are insects. Do not even try to explain your line of reasoning behind "getting permission" from the bees. SERIOUSLY? Bees may be beautiful and "one of god's creatures" or whatever, but they are BEES. I think somebody lives in a magical land with gumdrop houses if they want to ask a bee for its honey first.

And lastly, TRUE Vegans, really real Vegans, also eliminate ALL aspects of animal derivative products from their lives such as leather, silk, furs, wool, and any other useful thing that has in some way "subjugated" or "exploited" an animal. I can sort of see the problem with leather and furs, I mean the idea of skinning an animal generally produces a horrifying image in one's mind, but WOOL? This process of shearing a sheep does not harm the sheep in any way! It's like shaving your own head. That doesn't hurt, does it? The same thing with angora. You get that by BRUSHING a bunny rabbit. THE HORROR! How does that bunny withstand the terror and mistreatment of being BRUSHED! You see the bunny will naturally shed! It's the same thing for cashmere wool from goats; you get the fine hair when the goat naturally sheds in the spring time! Noooooooooo!! I can see why you would take a strong stance against such an atrocity (sarcasm). How DARE we HUMANS gather excess fur and MAKE FINE APPAREL with it?? Did we ASK these sheep, bunnies and goats their PERMISSION to collect the excess hair? Appalling!!

In conclusion, live your life how you want, just don't expect me to understand your choices. Or even like you. I'm just sayin', if you're Vegan... I just might have to hate you a little bit. You know, for being a douche and all.

William the Bloody (meatless)

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