Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Madonna "Dress You Up" ::
Hello there and welcome to the Marvel Universe! We couldn't help but notice that you've got yourself some very nice super powers there and were wondering if you would like to be one of our beloved super heroes? Besides super powers, what does it take to be a hero here, in the Marvel Universe, you ask? Well, for starters, a snazzy costume, of course!
First off, if you're designing your costume to be a hero in the good ol' Marvel Universe, you don't get to use green. Sorry, but green is primarily reserved as a "villain colour" for some reason. Evil people like Dr. Doom, Loki, Baron Mordo, The Mole Man, Molecule Man, Kang, Annihilus, et cetera all wear this colour of the baddies. Very few good guys in the Marvel U have ever pulled off green such as Marvel Girl, The Vision, and Multiple Man, but trust me no one wants to wear Multiple Man's outfit. Ever.
Magenta/pink seems to almost exclusively be for villains as well, unless you're a female hero. Villains like Baron Zemo and Kang have utilized it in their outfits, but its success with male heroes is limited and poorly received. Heaven knows we even try to talk our male villains out of using it, but Galactus keeps on insisting that "millions have trembled before his mighty pink armour" and won't budge.
Also funny hats are a trademark of our villains. Loki and Galactus have the most famous funny hats in the our universe and we'd like to keep it that way.
The same goes for the whole "shredded cape" look.
Capes in general are pretty much right out. It is very rare that we accept heroes with capes in this universe, some exceptions being Thor, Dr. Strange, Moon Knight and the Vision. If you are dead set in designing your costume with a cape, please start petitioning the union as soon as you can.
Next, if you expect to be on one of the X-teams, you will have to be a mutant, obviously, and will probably be expected to follow a basic uniform outline. Many of the X-teams will have non-uniform uniforms, in other words, outfits that follow on a theme rather than all being exactly alike. Like these:
If you're a giant, muscle-bound man, at some point you will be expected to have a costume without a shirt. One of the few guys to get around this clause is Guido, aka Strong Guy (formerly of X-factor), but we decided no one wants to see that.
Ladies, you'll be glad to know that by choosing the Marvel Universe over those other guys, that we very rarely impose upon our female heroines to suffer the indignity of the frilly mini skirt! But it might boost your popularity to show your midriff. Only sayin'.
If you are a woman hero and having design problems, may we suggest our tried but true stand by design? It includes a central body suit (usually of bathing suit cut, but not always) and contrasting thigh high boots and above the elbow length gloves, which is all often complimented by a sash or belt. Satisfied customers of this look include Phoenix, Binary, Ms. Marvel, Psylocke, and more!
Gentlemen, may we suggest not using the "underwear outside the pants" look? Admittedly, it is making somewhat of a retro come back, but this is generally considered a faux pas and will undoubtedly get you teased by Spider-Man on your first day out.
If you have your basic look down and want to accessorize, please keep moderation in mind! Sure chains, spikes, straps, buckles, armor plates and pouches all sound good in theory, but too many can look cluttered. A streamlined look is more practical and some accessories can definitely make your costume stand out, but do you really want to be known as "the guy with all of the pouches"?
And lastly, before finalizing your design, it will save us all time and effort if you take a moment to peruse our registry of already existing heroes along with their photos of their trademarked looks. How embarrassing would it be if you were to show up to stop Rhino's rampage of downtown Manhattan while wearing a costume which all too closely resembles that of another responding hero? We've all heard of these mistakes as a possibility at proms and Halloween parties, let's all try to be professional and avoid them here in the Marvel U.
William (special thanks to Ze Ball Breaker for the micro heroes!)
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