Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Fatboy Slim "Weapon of Choice" ::
First off, I'm going to do something I don't normally do in these rant thingies, and that's show you a picture. No, not of me silly-pants, but of Sealand. BEHOLD:
Sealand is an artificial island. It was built by the United Kingdom during World War II, but when hostilities settled, it was abandoned by the government. In the 1960s, it was bought by a family and declared a sovereign nation. Yes, this platform was named a Principality and dubbed Sealand. It had a Prince and Princess, its own stamps, heck even its own currency minted.
Why am I talking about an obscure nation? Simple: the Prince of Sealand was recently on television and it seems that Sealand itself is UP FOR SALE. As an up and coming super villain out for world domination, Sealand looks like it would be the perfect place for me to establish myself. It has a very strategic location, not only near Britain, but many European nations are close by as well. If I were to purchase Sealand, I would be a monarch to my own nation and enjoy diplomatic immunity overseas! Just think of the shit I could stir up! And come on, how cool would it be to go somewhere and pay for stuff with money that has my picture on it? "This coin? Yeah that's me on it. Yep, I run my own country pretty much. Oh you know, pass a few laws, sign international treaties of trade, the basic stuff. This weekend the Prince of Monaco and I are playing golf, so it's not all work."
Granted, the existing Prince of Sealand stated that they would not sell to just anyone. They do not wish to sell to terrorists or people looking to find a way around international laws to do dirty business. You might think that this would put a damper on my desire to use the country as a base for my villainy, but I mean how's he to know? I appear to be just some normal guy looking to be the prince of a bizarre platform sea-locked nation. Won't he be surprised when after a year giant rocket launchers get mounted on it! There's no telling what sort of crazy crap I could stash underneath the ocean waves and away from the prying eyes of the surrounding nations and passing freight ships! Maybe I'll be breeding some warm water penguins with bionic laser guns mounted to their heads. Who knows!
Just looking at Sealand makes me think of the limitless potential. I've been waiting for an opportunity like this to pop up for quite sometime. Finally, a chance to be a proper villain like my hero Doctor Doom. While waiting for my world domination to commence, I can lord it over my many citizens (which would serve as good practice for lording it over the whole planet) and get started not only designing the world's new money, but also its new world order. Yes, gaze upon Sealand and gaze upon your DOOM!!
William (future crown prince)
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