Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Operation Ivy "Jaded"::
I'm not really a "car guy." Cars don't fascinate me that much. But, I suppose deep down, every guy is to some degree a motor head. It's not as though I rush off to car shows, or watch movies for the car chases. Heck, I'm avoiding The Fast and the Furious like the plague. However, when I recently bought myself a new car, I had no doubt what it had to be. That's right, a PT Cruiser (black, naturally). I know it isn't the fastest thing on the block (that'd be the lady who lives 3 doors down), but I took one look at this vehicle and fell hard. I love the classic lines.
If I had a ker-jillion dollars, I would have tracked down an old Rolls Royce Phantom from the 1930's. You know the one, similar to the car in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, where the Arab refuses gems and gold from the Nazi's, but wants their car instead. I probably would have done the same for that car.
Sure, you all are thinking, "he notices a car in Indiana Jones, but what about James Bond, who is famous for his fast cars." Yeah, some of the Bond cars are cool. That's right; only some. I'm original Aston Martin all the way, baby! I don't particularly care for many of the BMWs Bond drove. The BMW 750il in Tomorrow Never Dies was butt ugly. And don't get me started on that Lotus Espirit, aka "Wet Nellie" (no, I didn't make that up), from The Spy Who Loved Me. And don't look at me sideways for claiming to not be a car guy and yet know this stuff about Bond's cars. Bond vehicles are one of the 3 things nearly everyone knows about each Bond film. Number one, Bond's gun is a Walther PPK, number two, who the "Bond girl" is, and three what car Bond will have. (and you know, I wouldn't mind a Little Nellie do-it-yourself kit, of even a blimp with Zorin Industries written on the side would be cool...)
Of course talking about cool cars, who can top the Batmobile? Who didn't dream about that as a kid? Fire up and down the street with that jet engine shooting off grappling hooks and what have you. Now, when I admire a Batmobile, I'm talking the one from Tim Burton's Batman and Batman Returns, not that hideous thing with the fin in later movies.
But, my all-time favorite car ever? If I could possibly get my mitts on it, I would never let go. It has to be Harold's Jaguar hearse from the movie Harold and Maude. Getting an eyeful of a Jaguar with a full-metal make-over to resemble a hearse... wow. Maybe it's the morbid in me, But yes, I would turn down a fully functional Bond car or Batmobile, with working bells and whistles, for this hearse. It is just that cool, folks.
So. Me, not a big car guy. Nope. Not at all...
William (Hell on wheels)
