Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's Soundtrack: Momus "Akiko Masuda" ::
It was a great day indeed for English speaking everywhere when "ginormous" was officially declared a word and added to new dictionaries. You probably don't know this about me, but I am a great fan of not only words, but word inventors. People like William Shakespeare and Dr. Seuss have invented words by turning nouns into verbs or flat out coming up with something all together new to suit a purpose. Did you know that Dr. Seuss is widely credited as being the inventor of the word "nerd" in the book If I Ran the Zoo? Fun fact there. It is in this vein that I would like to try and get some new words out there and started people on using them.
Schmuu: noun. pronunciation: shmooh. A person whose gender is indeterminate. Example: The Saturday Night Live character of "Pat" is a routine based on Pat being a schmuu. Can also be conjugated as in: That person has a definite schmuuness about them. Origins: Okay, so I myself personally did not invent "schmuu", but I was present at its birth. A group of us were driving around killing time and we kept on passing by this same park bench with a fat person sitting on it and staring at them trying to figure out if it was a man or woman when suddenly one of us just shouts "it's a SCHMUU!" I thought this was hysterical, and have been using it ever since.
Joike: noun. pronunciation: joy-key. A foolish, mean or rude sort of person. Re: a jerk. Example: I know you were right, but you don't have to be such a joike about it! Origins: I didn't make up this word either, but I made up how to use it. This word comes from the show Mystery Science Theatre 3000. The character of Gypsy knitted a sweater as an X-mas gift for the show's host, only Joel left and Mike took over, so the sweater wound up having "Joike" written on it, a combination of "Joel" and "Mike." I started calling people a Joike after the first time I saw it only because it reminded me of the word jerk and I thought it sounded funny and had the added bonus of people not knowing what the Hell I was talking about.
Hangle: verb. pronunciation: hang-gle. Suspended from above allowing free movement, especially concerning parts of the body. Example: After the liposuction, Steve's extra skin would hangle about him. noun. part of the body which hangles. Example: Don't make me hit you in your hangle! Origins: This one's all me, baby! Yeah, that's right; the most immature offering was completely and totally invented by yours truly sometime in the last month or so. It should be rather obvious that all I did was combine "hang" and "dangle" into one brand new and totally awesome word.
Well, that's all I can recall as of right this moment. I'll probably remember some other cool-ass words later on at like three in the morning or something, as per normal. Does anyone else have any neat-o words of their own they want to share? I'm all for it if you want to leave them in the comment thingy. In the meantime, remember that the schmuu had no right to act like such a joike just because you made fun of the way it's body fat hangled.
William (wordsmith)
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