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Rants >> Rant 204

:: Today's soundtrack: The Killing Joke "Love Like Blood" ::


I like to engage in the occasional recreational reading of books and comics as well the watching of various films. Who doesn't, right? Well, have you ever been reading or watching something and you kind of notice something about some of the characters? That maybe... possibly... a couple of them come off as being gay for each other? Yes, it's most likely unintentional, but for all intents and purposes you can totally tell that these guys are a couple of raging homosexuals if only they'd get it out there and admit it already? There's nothing wrong with being gay, but there really aren't too many of them depicted in mainstream media, and maybe it's because of this that we can't help but see something below the surface which may or may not actually be there. Is it really there or am I seeing things? Check out these examples and you be the judge:

Clark Kent and Lex Luthor on Smallville. There is a fanbase out there for the Clark/Lex relationship that I had heard about before watching the show. I couldn't even imagine where these fans even came up with the idea. I mean, Kent and Luthor are old enemies! These fans must be delusional to come up with a gay relationship between them! Then I watched season one and even I was utterly convinced of the homosexual undertones of these two. Seriously, whenever Clark and Lex share the screen, you can cut the sexual tension with a knife! There's this bit in the season one finale where Clark is dressing for the prom and Lex helps him tie his bowtie and Clark says: "Clark Kent and Lex Luthor? I like the sound of that!" When are they going to put and end to the pretense and just start making out already?

Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee in the Lord of the Rings films. It might not be overly apparent in the beginning of the film trilogy, but by the end of Return of the King, you'll see it. How many times throughout does Frodo get all semiconscious and Sam says "It's me, Mr. Frodo. It's your Sam." If that isn't a declaration of man love I don't know what is. Every time I go to sit and watch Return I think to myself "it can't possibly be as gay as I remember it being" but then it turns out it's actually GAYER than that, which I didn't think could be possible, this side of them tearing each others' clothes off.

Superman and Batman in silver age issues. Yeah, I know the common "hilarious" stereotype of Batman and Robin getting their gay on late at night in the Batcave, but I assure you, this is not the case because Bats only has eyes for Supes. Let me share a line of narrative from an issue of World's Finest: "One man reaches out, gently, to another-- and a world of profound empathy passes from his hand-- straight to The Batman's troubles heart." Um. Yeah. This line is concerning Superman reaching out to Batman in mutual understanding. Basically stating that no one can understand each other like they do: Superman, last son of Krypton, and Batman whose parents were gunned down before him at a young age, both share commonalities which allow them to bond, and can only naturally lead to at least one weekend of experimental intimacy in the Fortress of Solitude they have vowed never to speak of again and hopefully won't make working together in the JLA "weird" from then on. Alright, so it never gets actually there "on panel" but what the reader's imagination fills in during panel breaks and scene changes is not a far leap. (Nod and wink to the ISB)

James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock in Star Trek the Original Series. Yes, Kirk made goo-goo eyes at just about every green skinned slave girl from here to Rigel 7, but that was all just a front for his crewmen. Everyone from here to infinity can see the homosexual undertones to Kirk and Spock's relationship. You all remember that one episode, "Amok Time"? No? Well, Spock had to do this mating ritual thing back on Vulcan, and long story short has to fight Kirk to the death. Spock believes he did indeed kill the captain, but when Spock beams aboard the ship and discovers him alive, he has a reaction of pure and utter joy... the ONLY time on the show Spock displays any emotion at all without anything influencing him. I swear, James and Spock were moments away from kissing.

Remus Lupin and Sirius Black in the Harry Potter series. The fan girls go crazy for this one, I tell you! It isn't really all that obvious in the books, but I can see how one can get the idea. Both men are life long bachelors, and Sirius was described as being handsome and popular in his young days, but with no girlfriend? Remus probably never dared to let anyone too close because of his werewolf curse, but then his Hogwarts school days brought more friendship than he dared to dream. And well, add to that the fact that Sirius learned how to transform into a very large and lopish dog for Remus's sake and you have the foundation for every slash fic writer's dreams. I could make a very crude "doggy style" joke here, but well I like to run a classy operation.

Well, what do you, the viewers at home, think? Is it all in my head? Am I reading too much into it? I mean, if Superman wasn't meant to be gay I'm sure Siegel and Shuster would be spinning in their graves so fast they'd reverse the rotation of the Earth, wouldn't they? I sure don't want to be the one to break it to the fan girls that there's nothing to the "Clex" ship; they'd tear me to shreds! So, am I crazy and looking too hard for gayness that doesn't exist or do you see it, too?

William (needs a new gaydar)

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