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Rants >> Rant 356

::Today's soundtrack: Laura Branigan "Hot Night" ::


Okay, summer, you win. Call off your relentless attack. I yield.

It's July right now and this past week has been so goddamn hot that I think I'm devolving. It seriously fucks up my ability to concentrate, formulate comprehensive sentences, dress myself, get out of bed, or get motivated to do anything besides lay around like a slovenly slug. I have mentioned before (Rant 284) that I get on pretty well in the cold and found hot climates off-putting. Well, the heat has now well surpassed uncomfortable and advanced to mind numbing and handicapping. By living in Northern New Hampshire, which is but a stone's throw from the Canadian border, I figured I wouldn't have to tolerate temperatures over 90 degrees Fahrenheit very often, never mind several days in a row.  Heck, we had a few days where it was around 100 degrees outside. This should not happen. Not here. I'm supposed to be safe from this here. It's so hot I can barely think. Typing this is making me sweat. Typing should NOT be a sweat inducing activity. It.... just shouldn't. It's to the point where I don't even WANT to type any more; I simply cannot take it. I'm so hot, sweaty, and uncomfortable that all I want to do is scream, convulse and then pass out. Also the seat of my computer chair is some vinyl-like material. You try practically literally sweating your ass off and sitting on a vinyl seat. Not good. No, sir, not good at all.

So, this is me surrendering to the superiority that is summertime. I can no longer take this battery of heat. I am throwing in the proverbial towel, if you will, and that towel is drenched in my sweat. Do what ever you have to do to call this off. Tilt the planet funny, inch away from the sun, heck accelerate the sun's cycle until it achieves Red Giant, I DO NOT CARE. Second ice age? Bring it. I'd love it.

Look, heat, there is only so much clothes I can take off, okay? I mean, two less item and this would be an ENTIRELY different  website. 

PS- As you can tell, another side effect of the sweltering heat is that is has made me into a whiny bitch. Yes, it has truly made me its bitch. Sorry about that, folks.

William the Bloody (fuming)

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