Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: David Gahan "Dirty Sticky Floor" ::
The internet is a vast and scary place, isn't it? I remember when I initially decided to "be online" about four years ago how frightened and confused I was. It's not only that there is so much bloody information and websites available to view, it's also that the people who have "been online" for an extended period had developed a whole new area of slang and in-the-know jargon that it was disconcerting for someone as unfamiliar as I was. But, I plod on, and gradually I began to get assimilated into the atrocity that is online life like Locutus of the Borg.
For those of you of lesser patience, however, I present to you this:
William the Bloody's Guide to 3vil Internet Speak
Baka - noun. Japanese term for "idiot."
Bish - noun. Short for "bishouen," a Japanese term for a "hot guy."
Blog - noun. Short for "web log" as in an online journal. Can be used as a verb. re: "I need to blog today."
Cosplay - verb. To dress up in a costume (usually made at home) that portrays a fictional character, most commonly anime/manga, but not always. As a noun, Cosplayer, one who dresses in the costume of a fictional character, who may or may not be a hot, exhibitionist girl.
CSS - acronym. Short for Cascading Style Sheets, which are a type of HTML coding used to program websites (or something).
Cyber - verb. Usually spoken in chat rooms, refers to online sexual relations. "Want to cyber?" translates to "Want to have incredibly weird, awkward and unfulfilling, skanky internet sex?"
DA - acronym. Short for Deviant Art, and online account/community for artists. I love you guys.
Fanlisting - noun. A website that lists people who are all a fan of a common subject. Addicting to join.
Glomp - noun. A maneuver that is half hug and half tackle, sometimes involving a pounce. Not sexual in nature, there, Pervy McPorn!
Gomen - adjective. Japanese term for "sorry."
Hosted - adjective. Describing a website that is "renting" webspace from someone who owns a domain. For example, WilliamsBloodyHell has access to 50,000MB of storage, but only currently uses 154.28MB, so in theory, I could let someone else use some of my unused space, and "host" them. I could, but I won't. I hate you all. See also, "unhosted."
Leet or L33T - noun. An annoying kind of internet/chat speak wherein as many letters as possible are substituted with other typing characters and everything is spelled phonetically. Instead of "I am elite", it would read "3Y3 m /337" and "you are elite" would be "j00 R /337."
LJ - acronym. Short for Live Journal, an online account/community for people who keep online journals.
Manga-ka - noun. Someone who writes/draws manga.
n00b - noun. Leet speak for newbie, or a new person. Alternative spellings: noob, newb.
Otaku - noun. Japanese word for "fanboy," usually used in relation to anime or manga.
Ship or 'ship - noun. Short for relationship, primarily used in regards to a work of fiction or fan fiction. re: "I'm not a fan of the Harry Potter and Cho Chang ship." A Shipper is someone who is in support of a particular ship. re: "I'm a big time Ron Weasly and Hermione Granger shipper!"
Slash - adjective. Used to describe a relationship that is homosexual (primarily guy on guy) in nature, usually in fan fiction. re: "I don't get Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy slash fic."
Spam - noun. Unsolicited e-mail or message, usually an advertisement, annoying as all hell.
Sticky caps - noun. A method of typing which uses capital letters at inappropriate times LiKE tHIs.
teh - article. Purposefully modified spelling of "the." Just stop it right now. Stop the madness!
Unhosted - adjective. Describing a website that is on a free server or hosting service (re: Geocities), and NOT hosted by a registered domain. You are unworthy slime of the earth if you are not hosted, apparently.
Valid - adjective. Term used to describe website coding that is cross-browser compatible to the nth degree, which has unintentionally spawned an army of rabid, elitist coding snobs.
WP - acronym. Short for Word Press, a blog software.
XD - smiley. The X represents two tightly closed eyes, and the D, an open, smiling mouth, usually meant convey "d'oh!" or similar. In a world wrought with acronyms, this one took a bit for me to catch on and made me feel like Cletus, the retarded yokel when I realized what it was.
There you have it, kiddies, a guide to some of that endlessly confusing talk of the evil and soulless internet! And in alphabetical order, no less! Hopefully this will allow your integration into online society to be far less painful than my own. The scars just never heal, do they?
William (teh L33T SI<iLLZ)
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