Our founder, Sir Bloody William Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William. He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This image was rumoured to have been commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!

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Rants >> Rant 306

::Today's soundtrack: Apoptygma Berzerk "Kathy's Song" ::


I watch and read quite a bit of science fiction stuff, you may have noticed. I see here and there when I watch old movies that some of the fantastical inventions which were created for this world of fiction have now come to pass. Things like mobile phones, finger print scanners, cloning, et cetera. There is one item which I have seen in more than one science fiction universe that I think we are not too far off from actually developing, but since it doesn't really have a name, I'm going to refer to it as "the universal device."

The universal device is pretty much an expansion of the mobile phone. It's a portable, personal communication device that calls, accesses information, does video and photos, just like advanced mobiles do today. However, these universal devices do all this and also serve as your personal identification. Say you fainted at a park or restaurant, someone could press a button on it and up pops your photo, name, age, address, basic medical history, allergies, emergency contact person, etc. This is not to say that just anyone could use anyone else's device. No, just that one feature in case of emergencies. Your device would be attuned to you, and you only. All the files, phone numbers stored in it, use history would be totally private and accessible only by its official and licensed owner. I haven't quite discerned how these motioned pictures have it so that the device recognizes only its owner, but it's probably got to do with a biosignature of some kind which cannot be replicated, something along the lines of DNA or what not. When you touch it, it knows you are the proper person and operates for you. Therefore, this device is also your proper identification if, say, you got stopped by the police. It would also operate similarly at work, home, and in your vehicle. You scan your device at your front door, and it unlocks to let you in. The same thing with your car and office. This is something everyone would carry around with them at all times, so the shape and appearance would evolve into something more practical, and easy to have with you without even thinking about it. Something like a collar or bracelet. Practically once a person is born they get one of these and it's with them their whole life. And everyone is constantly connected to a network so that if you move, all you have to do is update your device and boom! it gets downloaded so that all of your friends automatically have your new information. It's your phone, your PC, your keys, your ID, your everything.

I haven't decided yet whether or not this prospect is wondrous or terrifying. Regardless, it really doesn't seem to far gone from what we already have, does it? I wonder if someone at a software company somewhere is already trying to work exactly this sort of thing. Now, I still do not own a mobile phone, but do you think there will come a time when it becomes an absolute necessity to living in the modern world for everyone to have one, much like home computers and the internet have practically become? Is this where the iPhone is headed? How many years away do you suppose something like this could be, realistically? That's going to be the beginning of the end, isn't it? Once everyone gets all wired up with universal devices and technology has never been better or more advanced... bang! the apocalypse happens and people will have no idea how to live without the aid of computers any more. It's the rise of the machines, people!! Yeah, it's definitely time for me to shed all of my modern worldly possessions and live as a primitive mountain man off the land. I'll show those machines and survive their damned apocalypse. Join me, won't you?

William the Bloody (scary hairy hermit)