Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Garbage "Untouchable" ::
I'm probably going to get heaps of hate mail for saying this, but I don't care, I'm saying it anyway: pregnant women are annoying. But, GASP!, how could I say such a thing?! Dare I say read on?
First up, is the whole touchy-feely idea that surrounds them. I don't know why it is, but I could be a complete an utter stranger to a pregnant woman, but if I'm sitting next to her on, oh say a bus or something, and her baby starts to kick, suddenly she's grabbing my hands and forcing me to touch her baby belly. Now, I'm opposed to physical contact to begin with, even the small, normal stuff, unless it's with very close friends and relatives. Heck, I'm even loathe to slightly brush up against people on the street! So, then why does this woman think it's okay to literally grab me and FORCE me to touch her? You know what, lady? I don't know you, and I hate babies in general, so what makes you think I'm even interested in your pregnancy, never mind to the extent of needing to know junior's punching capabilities? Leave me the fuck alone, alright?
Next, is the thought that a pregnant woman needs to be treated as delicately as a bomb with a mercury detonator. You know, women have been giving birth since the freaking dawn of time, here, it's not like carrying a sack of groceries is going to kill you or jeopardize your unborn child in any way! Sound a might harsh? Well picture if you will, a crowded subway car. There is one seat left, and we've got a pregnant woman and a woman with one leg hopping around with a crutch. How much do you want to bet the expecting woman will demand the only seat "because she's pregnant"! Oh, gosh, so sorry the woman with only one leg even thought about taking the last seat! How could she not notice your obvious disadvantage of being preggers like that! Please. Pregnant women need to cease giving themselves the selfish bad name they've earned over recent decades by stopping to use their condition as a means for undeserved preferential treatment.
And another thing, they need to quit using the "hormones" excuse whenever they act bitchy or weepy. If you want to be bitch, then be a goddamned bitch, I don't care, just don't turn around and make excuses for it later in a lame attempt to try and still be likeable. People have emotions, they get mad, and they cry, sometimes inappropriately, but I'd prefer to hear, "sorry I started getting sobby back there; I don't know what came over me" rather than "what did you expect? I'm pregnant! My hormones are crazy right now!" Well, excuse me! Are you going to start breaking things, maybe rob a bank? Shoot someone? Then turn around and say "sorry, everybody! Hormones!" Take responsibility for your own actions for once and stop trying to blame everything you have second thoughts about on your pregnancy.
Okay, okay, not every single pregnant woman ever is deserving of my ire, but face facts, about 95 percent of them are! Asking for extra bathroom breaks while at work due to the vomiting of morning sickness is one thing, and I don't have a problem with that, it's when they start in with something like: "Get that book on that high shelf for me? I can't quite reach it" "I'm currently carrying heavy boxes, and you have a step stool, three feet away." "Gasp! Excuse me, I'm pregnant!" So, pregnancy is an excuse for your laziness, now? See what sort of thing I mean? "You expect me to wait in the queue? I'm seven months pregnant!" Well, lah-de-dah, ma'am, I don't care. We all had to wait our turn, and so should you. Good gods, it's pretty shameless the way most expecting women will throw around their pregnancy like they're a foreign dignitary with diplomatic immunity. Just because you're carrying a child doesn't mean the world has shifted its attention solely on you, so stop thinking we all want to touch your bump and go out of our way to accommodate you when it is unwarranted. So there.
William (enemy to all women)
