Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: The Misfits "Horror Hotel" ::
Having just recently watched True Blood, I got to thinking about the mythology of vampires and other supernatural creatures. Whenever there is a new book, television show, or movie we get presented with that creative team's particular take on those legends. Like for most writers a wooden stake through the heart will kill a vampire but for others a silver stake does the trick. Or how in some versions a werewolf while human will see the mark of the pentagram on their next victim but most of the time this idea is never mentioned or explored. So, as a horror buff, I'm going to take a moment and let you all know what traditions and trait of these creatures I would include in my own personal mythology. You, know if I ever were to write a book or screenplay or something, this is how I would portray them.
Vampires: I draw much of what I like from the novel Dracula, just to prepare you, but also from other sources I have read or seen. I like the idea of the immortal vampire and that as the vampire gets old the better the grasp he has over his vampire abilities and therefore the more powerful he gets. Spring boarding off of this idea, new vampires cannot tolerate sunlight, but the older they are the easier it becomes until eventually it's hardly a discomfort. An older vampire would be better skilled at enthralling its victims, perhaps young ones only being able to use suggestion and older ones issuing commands. I do like the idea of there being some sort of vampire hierarchy, like older ones being more important than younger ones and also if a vampire makes another vampire then that vampire is somehow indebted to their maker. I can go along with vampires transforming into bats, but I don't care for them turning into wolves or rats. Turning into mist is okay, too. I don't like vampires that fly while in human. To me, that's just taking it too far. I mean, sometimes vampires are portrayed as being TOO powerful and that crosses the line. I do think that vampires ought to have heightened senses and skills simply because their nature is to be a predator of mankind so they ought to have strength and speed beyond ours in order to do so successfully. There have been many odd folklore restrictions relative to vampires since forever such as the necessity of sleeping in a coffin, carrying around the soil of their homeland, the inability to cross running water, garlic as a repellent and recoiling before the cross. Well, I like the whole sleeping in coffins thing, I do, I don't know why, but I like it but I won't make it a necessity, only a preference. The earth of their homeland, I don't think is a must, just that in general soil has healing properties for them (mostly by being buried in it) so the earth from their home is the most restorative. I never like the running water legend. To me, it doesn't make sense that they can't cross a river yet Dracula can sail the Mediterranean, so that rule is out. I don' think that garlic would be and all out repellent, merely a slight aversion since they have strong olfactory sense, so any strong, sharp scent would have the same effect such as onions. Now, as for the cross, I like the idea, but I don't think it should be limited to the cross. I think holy symbols in general ought to work like the Star of David as well and I don't think it would force them to run away, just be very uncomfortable, but even moreso if the person bearing it believes in it. Like a Jewish person holding a crucifix would not work as well as a Catholic holding a crucifix (read this in an Uncanny X-men comic and I liked it!). Also, I like blessed weapons like holy water, but they only work if the person doing the blessing believes in it. It was also in Dracula that by putting a rose on the coffin the vampire inside would not be able to open it, and I don't care for that. That's just plain silly.
Werewolves: I enjoy werewolf films, I do, but I haven't really read any werewolf novels, so mostly what I have is my favourite stuff from all of the various films I've seen over the years from Lon Chaney Jr.'s The Wolf Man to An American Werewolf in London to Dog Soldiers. When it comes to being turned into a werewolf, I like the being bitten or scratched by a werewolf and also being cursed into it. Old mythology has people willfully entering into pacts with the devil for werewolfism, but I prefer the whole involuntary transformation aspect. Sure, there will be the occasional character who actively seeks it out and likes the killing, but mostly I prefer people who transform and murder against their will. Now, as to what form they transform into, I always preferred the bipedal, upright wolf-man as opposed to the down on all fours man-sized wolf creature. However, something that I got from Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the idea of the full moon lasting for three nights, and going along with that, I can see a bipedal wolf-man on the first and last days of the moon and a more wolf-like quadruped on the second, most full moon night. I also dig the long wolfie snout as in Dog Soldiers as opposed to the snub nosed Lon Chaney Jr. or Teen Wolf versions. And yes, I am a fan of the werewolf transformation being cyclic to the moon. MAYBE if someone were a werewolf for quite some time and really worked at it they could learn to suppress the change or force it at will, maybe, but generally no, it's relative to the phases of the moon. As to their weaknesses, I have always been a fan of only silver being able to deal the fatal blow, but I do like the whole wolfsbane repellent and as a possible cure for it (since as opposed to vampires, they are still alive and not undead, why not be able to cure them?). I also like the idea of being able to kill the werewolf that turned you into a werewolf as a cure for the condition. Since they are for the most part good people who get turned into a murderous wolf, I like them being tormented by the horrors they committed against their will and without any knowledge of the crime after the fact, I can get behind them being followed by the restless spirits of those they killed as seen in American Werewolf in London, only slightly modified. Spirits yes, but rotting corpses, no. I just don't think that worked. I prefer them to stay forever in the state in which they died, you know, with giant claw marks in them or whatever, but still constantly vexing the wolf-person since they can't move on to their afterlife until either the werewolf that killed them is dead or cured. As for the whole seeing the pentagram on their next victim thing, I don't really care for that.
Zombies: I have an opinion about the depiction of zombies. Yes, I know, you're all shocked. First off, I want to be sure to specify that I like the modern undead human depiction of zombies versus the idea of an entranced living person like in Voodoo myth. Okay then. Next, I don't really have a preference one way or the other as to what causes a zombie out break. It could be from space, it could be germ warfare gone bad, it could be a subliminal suggestion in a mobile phone or popular song, I don't really care. What I do care about is that I want to see those relatively slow moving, shambling along with slow reaction time zombies. I don't like those Olympic sprinter zombies. Well, I will say that if someone has been a zombie for a short amount of time, they are faster and more agile, but the longer they are dead they slower they get. They also must keep on decomposing but possibly at a slightly slower rate due to their mobility and dependent on the area's temperature (re: warmer places would mean fast decomposition and cold would mean slower). And speaking of temperature, I like the thought that a place that has cold, snowy winters would cause the zombies to slow down and possibly even freeze in place due to a lack of blood circulation and body heat. Also, the zombieness is spreadable from bites and scratches from zombies unlike those Return of the Living Dead zombies. Oh and any dead body will rise as a zombie, meaning you can die of a heart attack and be completely untouched by zombies but you will still rise from the dead as a zombie. And yes, the zombies I like can be killed by destroying the brain in any way. No special weapons needed. Body parts that are separated from the central nervous system (i.e. severed arms and legs) cease to function and are rendered inert, therefore if the head is removed from the body, the body is rendered inert, but the head still lives so long as the brain is undamaged. Zombies eat flesh, not just brains and they will eat animal flesh, too, but the animals will not turn turn into zombies, although I'd say an animal corpse which has been partially eaten by a zombie would not be safe for people to eat. And no, my zombies will not talk, only the occasional grunt or moan. I'm not going to say that a zombie outbreak should automatically mean the complete downfall of society into an apocalypse, no, people will be able to rise up and beat back the hordes so long as they are able to organize and fight back fast enough like in Night of the Living Dead and Shaun of the Dead. You know what? The type of zombies I like are pretty well depicted in the comic book Walking Dead. They've got them down almost perfectly.
There you have it: my person take and preferences on the supernatural creatures. What's that you say? What about mummies and creatures from black lagoons? Well, when was the last time you saw a movie with a lagoon creature in it? That's right, Monster Squad. And mummies? Well, there's that whole Brendan Frasier franchise, but before that, yep, Monster Squad. These are the three supernatural creatures which are one, most prevalent in popular culture and two, the ones I like the best and therefore have somewhat of a wealth of knowledge from which to draw and not sound like an ignoramus. What do you think? Do you have certain aspects for these myths that you like to see and others you don't? If you actually LIKE the idea of vampires being sparkly in the sun then I don't think we can be friends.
William the Bloody (scary monster, super creep)
PS- Oh, you Twilight people are so sensitive aren't you? Relax, I'm just sayin' you can like Twilight except for that one thing. Admit it. It's pretty lame. I mean, WTF, right?
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