Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Soft Cell "Tainted Love" ::
I've been thinking about comic books turned movies lately. It seems to be the latest trend in Hollywood, really, to churn out an adaptation in hopes of getting another hit like Spider-Man. Although, it sometimes feels like too often this venture falls flat on its face and produces a severe disappointment. Well, I've been trying to consider the bright side. Usually, even a poor rendition of a decent comic will have at least one good moment buried in it. So, here is my top ten favorite comic book movie moments!
10. Wolverine calls Cyclops a "dick" (X-men). Yes, the whole Statue of Liberty scene wasn't that good, being irreparably sullied by Storm's unfortunate "Do you know what happens to a toad..." line. However, when Cyclops demands proof that Wolverine is who he says he is and not Mystique in disguise, and this turns out to be all the proof he needs, which was just great. I don't think there was a bit in the entire movie more in character than that.
9. Hellboy has to save the box of kittens (Hellboy). I disliked the whole Samael demon thing in this movie. To me, they nearly ruined it. I just couldn't get on board with the concept. But that fight in the subway and some random lady yells out "my kittens!!", man, did I laugh.
8. General Zod says "You will bow down before me, Jor-El!" (Superman). Okay, if this isn't the comic book movie quote to end all quotes, I don't know WHAT is. You just can't argue it.
7. Norman Osborn has a conversation with himself in the mirror (Spider-Man). Norman Osborn's mind is slipping. The steroid enhancers are messing with him and spawned a second personality, The Green Goblin. How better to portray a man struggling against someone inside his very mind than to show him speaking to his own twisted reflection?
6. Marvin takes two shocks and mocks his executioners (Sin City). Marvin is the man. The fact that it took two jolts from the electric chair to do him in is further proof. "Is that all you got, you pussies?!"
5. Nightcrawler's teleportation sequence in the White House (X-men 2). I'm a Nightcrawler fan. I admit it. He's one of my all-time fave X-men. I was a tad worried how they'd render him in the film, but they took full advantage of the teleportation powers here. An excellent sequence, possibly the best in the film.
4. Enid and Rebecca respond to Seymour's personal ad (Ghost World). A great film with many great moments. When I was a weird youth, my mates and I did some incredibly odd things to pass the time. When Enid and Rebecca declare that elderly couple to be "Satanists" and follow them around, this is something we would have done as well. But responding to a lonely and desperate personal ad just to see what sort of loser would turn up took it that extra step. (the Satanists bit probably would have made it on instead if only they were more true to the comic and left the Lunchables part in... oh well).
3. Clark Kent fights Superman (Superman III). Yeah, Superman III is not a great movie, but that's the whole point of this, right? Just get rid of all the other unpleasantness... none of that business with Richard Pryor and whatnot. Just boil it down to this one fight scene.
2. Hellboy eats cookies with the kid on the roof and talks about women (Hellboy). I have an odd sense of humor, and something about this scene just tickled me. Hellboy is spying on the girl he's in love with from the roof tops as she goes on a date and a small boy discovers him. They eat cookies and Hellboy tells the kid all about his troubled love life. Great big ol' Hellboy, lil' kid and Oreos... who'd've thought?
1. Doctor Octavius's arm removal surgery sequence (Spider-man II). Quite possibly one of the coolest things ever. Sam Rami gets to use his horror film experience to bring us one incredible scene. The surgeons want to remove Octavius's metal tentacles which were accidentally fused to his spine. The tentacles are self-aware and act on their own to protect themselves. Startling jump cuts move from tentacle to terrified doctor to sharp surgical instruments to orderlies screaming to that one being dragged, clawing at the floor, to her death... all deftly done with just enough on screen and the violence mostly off, allowing your imagination to fill the gaps. Bravo, Sam.
Yep, there you have it, folks! These are my 10 off the top of
my head. I didn't really think too much about this in advance, so it is possible
I overlooked some good moments, but I think I backed up these selections fairly
well. Agree or disagree?
William (even geekier than you thought)
