Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: The Ramones "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" ::
Every once in a while you just gotta have some innocent fun for fun's sake.
I like to go about and pretend I speak with an English accent. Or perhaps, when I'm at a restaurant, I'll speak in a different accent every time the waitress comes around. One minute I'm from Oxford, the next, Mobile. I actually carried on a conversation with a telemarketer with my fake Alabama accent and she gushingly asked me where I was from. Oh come on, it's fun!
There was that time a whole bunch of friends and I went to an ice cream stand with our faces painted up and when the guy asked "Is this going to be on one bill?" we said "oh no, we're not together."
Or, I dunno, dressing up like you're an elderly person, and driving around downtown at 5mph with your blinker on, and waving your cane out the window at the "whippersnappers."
How about inviting those Jehovah's Witnesses inside for once and messing with their heads? They're usually so excited when somebody invites them in, that it catches them off guard when you have an arsenal of unanswerable questions for them. I actually had some Witness youths in once and asked them so many questions, they said they'd have to ask their supervisor. And two weeks later, lo and behold they showed up with their supervisor! Naturally, I invited them all in for a nice cold drink and a spiritual discussion I'm sure they won't soon forget, as mysteriously, they do not come to my house any more. Was it something I said?
So come on and lighten up! Go out for some good old fashioned F-U-N!
