Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Pet Shop Boys "What Have I Done to Deserve This?" ::
Hell on Earth. It exists, and it's here. While many of you, I'm sure, at the thought of this leapt to your feet and shouted something about President Bush being the devil or proof thereof, it has been suggested that while this may be true, Hell works even better when it is more subtle. This is not an idea or concept that is original to me, but I find it it to be true and accurate. Yes, we all agree that Adolf Hitler was evil, but what about, oh say, Steve Guttenberg? You see? Subtle. Nearly slipped right past you. Now then, I am going to present to you more proof of the tiny ways in which Hell and the Devil have infected our world.
The fact that Paris Hilton is considered a celebrity despite her not ever having done anything worthwhile or contributed to society AT ALL.
The fact that either of the Olsen twins could have any one of us assassinated at any time.
The fact that Jimmy Fallon carries on and has a career and yet Gilda Radner is dead.
Every week Hollywood is making movies that were either originally foreign or made 30 or more years ago (The Hills Have Eyes now? What the fuck...)
A movie like MirrorMask will only get a limited theater release of a thousand screens (it only showed in ONE cinema in all of New England, that's six states!), but something like Dukes of Hazzard is seen all over the nation and the world.
The fact that my new washer and dryer are equipped with blue tooth technology but my VCR still flashes "12:00."
The fact that more people feel compelled to vote for the next American Idol than for the President of the United States (and just LOOK at what happened...).
The fact that Harrison Ford is still being passed off as an action hero.
You can buy SEVERAL seasons of Full House on DVD and yet I'm STILL waiting for episodes of Daria and the second season of Twin Peaks to be released.
The fact that the movie Little Nicky even got made.
The fact that made for TV movies get made about things no matter how disrespectful or tactless it is to do so.
The fact that comic book "artist" Rob Liefield has NOT been tarred, feathered, and lit on fire.... yet.
The fact that a cool writer like Trace Beaulieu can only get work writing for America's Funniest Home Videos.
And this is just the tip of the iceberg! Imagine what other subtle yet horrifying visions of Hell lie just below the surface? It's scary, I know, but let us as a people all rise up and force back this invasion by Devil and say "no" to the likes of Date Movie and episodes of Step by Step on DVD. I know we can do it!
William (fighting back)
