Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Simple Minds "Don't You Forget About Me" ::
Do you know what doesn't make much sense? Things that have commercials that in all honesty, don't really need them. For example:
Cotton. You know? I was wandering around wearing a burlap sack just hoping somebody would inform me of a more comfortable material to manufacture my clothes out of. Not only does it have ads, it also has a jungle! "the touch... the feel... of cotton. The fabric of our lives." What exactly is that supposed to mean anyway? Sounds like clothing Nazi propaganda to me.
Beef. Thank the gods for this ad because I nearly filleted my neighbors cat until the TV told me what was for dinner. Another silly product to not only have commercials, but a jingle as well. Well. is it still a jingle if it doesn't have words? It has that catchy, lively symphonic tune which, to me, conjures up images of a cowboy riding on horseback, corralling a herd a of cattle, which run free across the plane. Is this exactly the proper image you want potential consumers to think of? Think about it. It's what we're going to eat. Do we really want to thinking about how at one time this sirloin had been running about?
Cheese. Okay, these ones are actually pretty funny and creative. Points for that. But that slogan: Ah, the power of cheese. Other than smell-wise, I don't get it. Is there some kind of pheromone emitted from a block of gouda that could enslave the masses to do one's bidding? Besides that, I don't see how the ads increase the populations awareness of this product more than society forces on them anyway. Go into any restaurant in the United States and nearly everything has cheese on it, has the option of being covered in cheese, or has cheese on the side, no commercial necessary.
And these are just some out of recent memory. Also for your consideration: "Pork: the other white meat," "Eat fish twice a week," and "Got Milk?"
