Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Lemon Demon "Geeks In Love" ::
The following is a paid advertisement:
Attention single women! Are you tired of being treated like dirt by that jerk with chiseled jaw line? Or feeling like you don't exist because your man would rather watch a football match than take you out? Perhaps it isn't YOU that has the problem, maybe it's the circle men you're looking at? May we then suggest an alternative to the self-absorbed and inattentive jock? Have you considered dating a geek guy?
Yes, consider the geek! He may not be underwear-model-handsome, but he'll treat you like a queen! A geeky guy will not only step over his mother for the mere chance of a date, but also open doors, pay for anything, drive you wherever you want to go, let you pick the movie, and listen with rapt attention to anything you have to say with no more expected of you than hand holding or a kiss on the cheek if lucky! The geek guy crowd is just so appreciative to have a woman willingly in his presence, he will do anything to keep her happy enough to stay there!
Have you had it up to here with conversations with men that total up to "babe, get me another beer"? Geeky guys are SMART! They READ! Yes, your "average" or "regular" man will usually read no more than the funnies and the latest issue of Sports Illustrated, but geek guys read not only stacks upon stacks of comic books, but also actual for real, honest to goodness NOVELS! The geek guy's book learning has him primed and ready for hours of stimulating discourse!
But wait, I know you're thinking it can't ALL be rose bouquets, intellectual conversation, and paid dinners; what about the down side? A geek guy will ask for the right to parade you around in front of his geek friends to show off how hot you are and how much cooler he is than the rest of them for having a girlfriend, but this is a compliment! In addition, any geek guy will need at least one day a week to play out his D & D campaigns, see the latest comic book movie (if you didn't want to go) with his equally geeky friends, watch Star Trek, and catch up on playing World of Warcraft Online, but beyond that, he's all yours!
Sound interesting? Ready to maybe give it a try? Now how do you FIND one of these terrific geek guys? Try strolling into your local comic shop wearing a Batman symbol T-shirt! You are bound to get swamped with attention! Or, if you really want to pick and choose, try dressing up in costume for a comic convention!! Wear a Princess Leia outfit or T'Pol costume and you are practically GUARANTEED to leave with an average of three marriage proposals a day. No kidding. It's just that simple!
Now go! Go forth and get yourself that geeky guy who will treat you like you deserve!
(Paid for by the committee to get William the Bloody and all of his friends girlfriends by the end of the year. Although, if William and all of his friends all had girls simultaneously, this would be the equivalent of some sort of divine act and therefore most likely signal the start of the apocalypse.)
William (match maker)
