Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Squirrel Nut Zippers "Hell" ::
I know why other nations hate the United States. And don't say it's because they're jealous. It is, in fact, because we are all fat and lazy. Let's not even try to deny this any more, shall we? Let's start being honest with ourselves.
Look us for crying out loud. We invented such things as the One-Hour Photo lab and Instant Oatmeal. We need it now, now, now but we aren't willing to work for it. We as a nation, let television rule our lives and schedules. Where else do you see college students choosing classes that don't conflict with their afternoon soaps? Or if someone says they're "busy" or "has someplace to be" more often than not television is that place.
Money we spend to make an action hero's car explode could be sent to hospitals. Do actors and sports professionals really need all that money? A small fraction of it could fund education or a more worthwhile cause, but unfortunately it's only when and actor or sports great gets into trouble with the law or something do they even endorse a worthy cause. A commercial during the Super Bowl gets more money put into it than a school system in a poor community would ever need.
Fat people can now sue in this country for being fat. They can sue fast food chains, they can sue their doctors and who knows who else. Was there ever some false pretense behind fast food that you didn't think it would be at all fattening? Did they tell you it was healthy and nutritious and yet here you are 450 pounds? No, I don't think so. All that grease and cheese must have been a give away, and even then they refuse to think it could be their own fault.
We have grown so lazy that PUDDING and YOGURT now come in easy tubes. No spoon required. When did we reach this all-time low? That a mere SPOON is too much to clean? Let's just start eating out of troughs, or is hosing that down too much work for you?
Meh. Sorry about the cynicism this week. Sometimes, if I don't hit the release valve, I feel as though I will explode.
