Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: New Order "Shellshock" ::
So it's come to this. Once again I shall show you the dark underbelly of forum administration. The seedy, less glamourous side of account activation. The horrifying spambot applicants! (cue thunderclap. Seriously, I want a thunderclap every time I say "spambots." Heck I would settle for horses whinnying. Where's my foley guy?)
I warn you, there is some right weird stuff ahead, some of it more than a little suggestive in nature. DARE YOU READ ON?
First of all, when administrating a forum, I review the new membership applications. There is a list of names that looks like this:
Obviously, most of these are jumbled letters creating nonsense. Sometimes though... I'm looking over the list above... Tolilesia.... Priequegrerty... Lesbian Porn.... wait. Stop right there. This is where it gets interesting and sometimes amusing for the weird thoughts that pop up in my head when I see the names the spambots (thunderclap!!) have managed to come up with.
Hey how about some Cialis....is..... I wonder if Cialisis has twice the strength of regular Cialis? "Cialisis: twice the "is", twice the potency!"
Well, that doctor has an unfortunate name. Or fortunate so long he decided to change the focus of his practice.
The BEST penis enlargement you say? Well, I normally scoff at such adverts, but since you claim to be THE BEST, hell, sign me up!
"Free for exsignals." What is an "exsignal" and how would one go about obtaining this status in order to procure free stuff?
FINALLY. Erotic pictures in HD.... it's about time!
The twelve year old in me laughs every time. Homoerectus.... snort!
This e-mail also makes my preteen self collapse into a fit of snickering. Super-puper... hee!
All the hotties online say "hey!" You know what? Forget it. I don't care how hot you are, if you cannot spell, then there's no way.
Um... yes. Yes, please. Tell where this is immediately.
Do they mean to outfit my johnson with a spoiler as though it were a hot rod? Or do they mean that they will ruin the ending? Coz I can tell you right now how it will end, baby.
Looks like Ralph Bakshi is going to remake Cool World, only drop all the pretense. Good for you, Ralph.
I know a lot of people are into solely yaoi... but this is not for me, thanks.
Um. Wow. This is getting into the freaky-deaky zone. Okay, okay I know people have fetishes but.... this sort of thing even I think is weird to be into... and gross.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? Throwing all this lolita and porn and things out there and then THIS? That is disgusting, man.
Tits, asses and tits! They know what sells so the mention it twice!
How the hell do you know what my BEST porn is? Get out of my hard drive! Um, I mean... I don't have any porn. I don't know what you're talking about!
On that note I think it's time for me to sign off for now before things get even weirder in here.
William the Bloody (not one pixel of porn, I tell you!)
