Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: New Order "Leave Me Alone" ::
Sorry to pull this on you again so soon after the last one, but well, that's what happens when I get really short on time; I go to my back up plan, and one of the best ol' stand bys is to take another treacherous glimpse into YE OLDE SPAM FOLDER! I know it's weird, bizarre and frightening, but it is also occasionally hilarious. Do we dare see what lurks within?!
No thanks, I don't like my tea with boromarsah,; I like it plain.
I don't know if I ought to give children their vitamins in an iron pie. I mean, sure, iron pie is definitely full of vitamins and minerals, but you try to bite into it and you crack your teeth!
Wench! Bring me a collection of your finest meeds! I have a hearty thirst to quench!
Look, if I had a wife she wouldn't be the type to go off with some pretty boy, okay? Are you trying to make me feel insecure here?
It's magical, is it? But then if I had one of these in the house why would the woman I brought want anything to do with me? How can I compete with a magical orgasm??
Um... yes please! Where do I sign up for this service? Name your price!
Wait... WHAT?! How is it that you know exactly how to push my paranoia buttons?? What do you want from meeeeeee?!
More what? Cookies? Oral sex? Oral sex AND cookies?!? Wow, does THAT sound like a great afternoon!
Are you saying you have a way to make me stop blubbering like a little girl whenever I watch Harold & Maude, because that would great. What other manhood issues could they possibly be talking about?
Is this like a mutant power? I could be like Ben Grimm of the Fantastic Four with rock hard skin! It clobberin' time! ... wait that's not what they... ooooooh! Ew.
I hope it's not heavy to hoist; I'm hernia prone.
My pecker is PLENTY big see (scroll down if you dare!)?
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Made you look! What do you say, ladies? Is that one good looking pecker or what?
Lastly I leave you ponder this message I received (click the thumbnail image for larger, legible, mind-blowing view):
I really don't know what this whole thing is suppose to mean, only that it is AWESOME. If anyone would like to leave an attempted translation for me, it would be appreciated. Make of it what you will, but try not to descend into the mouth of madness when you do! I know I'm going to be on the look out for a Jersey Cow the next time I'm at the cinema.
William the Bloody (confused and amazed)
