Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Linkin Park "One Step Closer" ::
I am not a fan of what most people refer to as the "small talk." As a social recluse, it can be difficult for me to strike up a conversation with someone, especially if I just met them, yes, but I still honestly don't like to employ the use of small talk to help me out of this jam.
To me, small talk is so generic that it coveys the notion of "I really have no idea what to say to you except nonsensical pleasantries so please reply accordingly so we can both get through this awkward yet seemingly necessary bit of socializing as quickly and painlessly as possible and get on with our respective lives." Which is not the sort of message I like to send people. If I'm introduced to someone and our mutual friend suddenly leaves the two of us alone, I will still attempt to avoid talking about the weather at all costs. It would probably help if my life were the least bit interesting, but it isn't, so I've found that the best thing to do is try to steer the conversation in the direction of the life of the person I just met. It's usually fairly easy to get someone talking about themselves so long as you pay attention and look interested. All you have to do is ask leading questions every so often and you're pretty well set. The phrase "that's really interesting, please continue" is important as well as repeating key words they use in your questions.
Sometimes though, despite all of my knowledge of getting through awkward social situations and small talk avoidance, there are some people all my tricks simply to do not work on. Maybe their lives are as boring as mine and they don't want to talk about it, or sometimes they'll attempt to strike up a conversation first but all they've got to go on is the small talk. These days, after the weather has been exhausted, and the fact that I don't really follow sports has been revealed, the next small talk "discussion" on the list is the rising price of gasoline. This subject is beginning to annoy the hell out of me because it is starting to crop up simply everywhere. At least when I'm forced to converse about the weather, it changes. Sometimes it's too hot, or too rainy, or there's too much snow and what people want or like differs. However, the inevitable "gas price conversation" is always the same. I do believe I have had roughly exactly the same discussion with about five people so far. But this thing with gas prices is all over the place now. It seems like I can't go into a store without overhearing someone tell someone else how expensive it was to fill up their tank, and it's in advertisements on television, and not just for cars, it's talked about on the news and on magazine shows, too.
And you know what? Knock it off, okay? Gas prices are high and it sucks, I get it. Do you hear me? I GET IT. At this point this should simply be a known fact in our present society. Gas prices are high is a given. We all know it. We all hate it. Do we really need to talk about it all the time? It's passed the point of lively discussion and moved into the realm of outright complaining now. Gas prices are high, yes. This just in: water is wet and the sun is shiny. Yes I buy gasoline, and this affects me, so what do I do? I drive less. I walk more. I consume less gas and therefore spend less. Maybe some of you people should try it instead of complaining to me or others about it.
Remember what I said about small talk earlier? It's as though you don't have anything else to talk about. Is that true? Do you really, honestly have nothing better to talk about to anyone about than to relay to them facts they already know? And I thought I was boring. Ooooh, zing!
William the Bloody (how 'bout this weather?)
