:: Today's soundtrack: Echo & the Bunnymen "Lips Like Sugar" ::
You all are going to think I'm a giant freak for going on about this, but well, here goes anyway.
Goddammit I can't stand buying a tooth brush these days. I know, I know, what the hell, tooth brushes he's bitching about now. But, yes, yes I am. I needed to get a new one the other day and it was nearly impossible. I don't want or need a costly and fancy electric jobby that spins or what not. All that I need is a plain old ordinary RECTANGULAR brush! Let me explain why this pisses me off so. I have a bathroom FIXTURE to hold my toothbrush. That's fixture as is in, fixed in place, as in it's a part of my wall and it has, that's right, rectangular slots to house my brush. I used to be able to go to a store, just about any store, and get a nice, normal tooth brush for under a dollar. But NOW, almost everywhere is getting rid of the simple old fashioned square-ish brushes to make way for these fancy-assed ergonomic ROUND brushes! Round brushes that, yes you guessed it, do NOT fit in my permanently attached holder. I don't know about YOU, but I don't particularly NEED a tooth brush that has rubbery-spongey grips and racing stripes on it! I don't NEED a tongue cleaner on the opposite side! I don't need a handle that curves or has a bendy neck! I don't want to have to pay about THREE DOLLARS for something I'm going to throw away in a few weeks! I don't want to bankroll the teams of NASA scientists Crest and Oral-B have working for them who are constantly redesigning and streamlining a pretty inconsequential household object! Seriously, how many graphic artists and sport therapists do they have to create a goddamn tooth brush?? I just need a plastic stick with bristles on the end! You can dress it up all you guys want, but it doesn't matter! I've been using ordinary, nondescript square brushes my whole life and do you know what? NO CAVITIES. None. Ever. And I haven't lost any, either! All my teeth are there and in perfect condition, WITHOUT a tooth brush with a self-spinning head! Let's STOP trying to reinvent the wheel or design the better mouse trap, okay? They can all just redirect their energies to something more useful like, oh I don't know, macramé.
William (easily pissed)