Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Adam Ant "Goody Two Shoes" ::
Goddamn do I hate smokers. I really do. They bug the crap out of me. Let's talk about this, hm?
They smell. They do. You can't deny it. It's not like they smell pleasantly of daisies or anything either. They smell like smoke, and not regular snuffed a candle smoke, an extra nasty smelling tobacco smoke. And this smell rubs off, too. Say, I'm at a party or something and I toss my coat on a chair, and then a smoker puts their coat on mine. MY coat now stinks! Or even if I go to visit someone who smokes. Spending anything more than an hour at their place has me walking away with their unpleasant aroma all over me! My clothes and even my hair now stink! Not cool.
Many of them even have this entitlement attitude. You ever had to tell a smoker there was no smoking allowed? Sometimes you have to be ready for a fight. Occasionally if I have a party and a friend of a friend shows up and I have to tell them to take it outside they say "Oh. Fine." like they're being unjustly persecuted or something. Whatever, dude. How would YOU like it if I went to YOUR house and started spraying it down with an aerosol spray that smelled like goat cheese or something? You wouldn't, so don't act like you have so right to make MY furniture smell.
Then there's the whole health issue. I mean, I don't even know WHY people do this to begin with, since it is now common knowledge that cigarette smoke is likely to shorten your life span. "Yeah, I may need an iron lung when I'm sixty, but damn, don't I look cool?" Uh, no, you don't. Your teeth are turning yellow and you're coughing up phlegm all the time. Yep, waaay attractive, that. Not only is it harmful to you, the second hand smoke is harmful to those around you. If you're outside, not so much an issue, but at home and with an infant? That infant is helpless and is being exposed to potentially harmful airborne materials, but mom just has to have her ciggy!
How did this even get started, I wonder? Let's see, I think I'm going to roll up these leaves, stick 'em in my mouth and light the other end on FIRE! How could this possibly be a bad idea? It just doesn't make any sense to me at all.
You smokers want to kick my ass now? Go ahead and try. You'll
be gasping for breath before not too long and you'll be wide open.
William (a matter of life and breath)
