Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Ministry "Everyday is Halloween" ::
Ah, yet another All Hallows' Eve has come and gone (I know, here you thought I'd let the year go by and not mention Halloween once). One of the things I love about the holiday is the costumes. I really appreciate a good costume. It should come as no surprise, then, that I'm not that big of a fan of those cheap, thin polyester material costumes you buy in a bag at drug stores and Wal-Marts. You know the kind. Folks just go into the store, grab a "prefab" vampire outfit in a plastic bag for 20 USD. That sort of thing just kinda reeks of not caring. Now, I'm not saying you have to sew your own costumes here. Heavens, no. It's just costumes look so much better when you put them together yourself... often times just using REAL clothes instead of that cheap polyester crap will do the trick. You can very easily make a regular, everyday outfit into a vampire costume with some minor accessories like fangs, some blood, and maybe a wig or the right make up would do it. I suppose the prefab bit isn't so bad if you're only paying 20 USD for it, but then there are those supposed "deluxe" costumes which sometimes ask you to pay out upwards of 100 USD for them and they STILL suck ass. One of which is the V for Vendetta costume. UGH. I dare you to Google that. It is awful. It can go for anywhere between 60 and 100 USD and includes: black shirt, black pants with attached black boot tops, plastic mask, black cape, black hat and belt with daggers. Okay, don't even get me started on the BOOT TOPS. I despise those things. Many costumes use those. You attach them to your shoes to make them look like boots. It sickens me. JUST GET SOME ACTUAL BOOTS, OKAY? And the ones in the V costume are attached to the pants! How evil is that?? You'll notice that the hefty price tag on the V outfit does NOT include a wig or gloves. Bastards. If you are going to spend 60 to 100 USD on a V for Vendetta costume, make it yourself by assembling quality parts and not blowing it on this cheap travesty. When I made my own V costume a few years ago, I found some nice looking daggers that were cheap (10 USD each), but at least they were made of metal and not plastic! V was an easy costume choice for me because I already owned many of the things required. I actually only needed to buy the knives, the mask, and the wig. I made my own cape because since, I am very tall, I can never find one that hangs correctly. The rest I already had from other costumes and renaissance faire gear (yes, I have been known to go to ren-fests. Don't act like you're all surprised). For the price of a horrible store bought costume, I was able to make a much nicer, more realistic looking version on my own. There are many cool costumes you can make using the stuff you already have with a few choice store bought accessories. Do you have any old, worn out clothes? The kind you only keep around for doing messy chores? That stuff is perfect for making zombies, homicidal maniacs, murder victims and more. Seriously, if you ever pay money on a zombie "costume" you have been fooled out of your money. All you need to buy is some make up, if that. I was Jason Voorhees the year before last and all I needed to buy for it was the hockey mask. I just wore some of my worn out clothes, threw a flannel shirt over it, grabbed my machete (yes, I own a machete for realsies) and I frightened the bejeezus out of trick-or-treaters for under 10 USD ( I didn't even really need the machete.... or maybe even the costume for that, now that I think about it). You can do SO MUCH with fake blood, it's crazy. Got an old apron? Douse that thing in fake blood, grab a knife from your butcher block and you're ready to go and you'll look LOADS better than any psycho killer costume you would've bought ready-made at the store and for way less money! When it comes to having a good Halloween costume, it's all about knowing what you already own, working around that and what you can afford/want/is practical to buy to add on to it. Going back to my V outfit, I already had the parts like the gloves, hat, boots and belt because I bought them one piece at a time over many years knowing I could incorporate them into many different costumes, not just ren-faires, and boy howdy have I ever! And I think I could make a good Captain Hammer with the use of the boots and gloves at a future Halloween (I'd just need to buy the shirt for that costume... and lose like 30 pounds, but who cares about that). Next Halloween, don't waste your money at the store on some cheap-material costume. Instead, go through the clothes and accessories you already have. Maybe you'll find an old blouse buried in your drawer you forgot you had. Maybe you'll notice that if you combine that shirt with this skirt and that old dangly jewelry it really looks quite like a gypsy outfit. It may not be perfect, but I can assure you, it'll look miles better than a 10 USD polyester outfit you bought in a bag. Also, the costume you buy in a bag you will probably only wear it once, maybe twice, but the clothes you already own? You've worn it and will continue to wear it many times. It just makes more sense to never ever buy those hideous, low-quality costumes again. Unless you want to be a giant M&M or something. Then that's just hilarious.
William the Bloody (in disguise)
