Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Hot Hot Heat "Ladies & Gentlemen" ::
Well, yet another Halloween has come and gone, and with it my annual viewing of It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!, because well, of the awesome. It should come as no surprise to you if you've been paying attention that I'm a very big Charlie Brown/"Peanuts" fan. Heck, Layout 5 of this place was a pathetic attempt at an homage. I have a few of the "Peanuts" comic strips collections, and watching the Halloween and X-mas specials every year are one of the few things that are successful at taking the holiday stress off.
Well, as I was viewing Great Pumpkin, I got kinda all mooshy for poor ol' Charlie Brown. See, part of the whole "Peanuts" charm, and Charlie Brown himself, is that NOBODY LIKES HIM. He is constantly belittled, made fun of, and proven to be easily duped and inept. The thing about Great Pumpkin in particular is that this is not merely limited to his peers. He goes trick-or-treating and inexplicably, every house gives him specifically a rock instead of candy. That's right, the adults in his neighbourhood despise him just as much as the kids do.
The sad thing about it is, it's always been like this. Right down to the very first "Peanuts" strip and first "official" appearance of Charlie Brown. If you've never had the chance to read it, the first "Peanuts" goes like this:
Two children, a boy and girl are sitting on the curb.
Boy: Well! Here comes ol' Charlie Brown!
Charlie Brown passes by.
Boy: Good ol' Charlie Brown!... Yes, sir!
Boy: Good ol' Charlie Brown.....
Charlie Brown has completely left.
Boy: How I hate him!
And so it begins, the general population's disdain for Charlie Brown. This is, however, what instantly drew me to the character as a youth, possibly without my even realizing it. Yes, no matter how bad my own life was, Charlie Brown's was worse. Charlie Brown never gets invited to parties (or when he does it's by accident and no one is shy about letting him know this), never gets greeting cards or gifts, always loses the ballgame, is told he can never do anything right, every kite falls to some grave misfortune rather than fly for him (up to and including spontaneous combustion and flash freezing midair), will never kick that football, can't talk to that cute red-headed girl of his dreams, and can't even get his own dog to listen to him.
And I loved it. Yeah, it was kind of funny to laugh at Charlie's misfortunes, but despite all of them, he remained unflappably optimistic. He seemed to know, whatever his plans were, that he was doomed to failure even before starting them, but he went and tried anyway. I'm sure he could see Lucy pulling that football away even before advancing on every place kick, but gave her the benefit of the doubt whenever she vowed she would not yank it away despite everything. He probably knew that every house on his block would give him a rock instead of candy for tricks-or-treats, but that didn't stop him.
Why do they all hate him so much, anyway? What did ol' Charlie Brown ever do to them? Sadly, we may never know exactly why it is that everyone treats Charlie with such utter contempt. I, however, want to go on record as stating my appreciation for Charlie Brown. No one else may like you, but I do, Chuck. The way you manage a baseball team every year even though your absolute best season was to win two games by default and know you will most likely wind up being knocked off that pitcher's mound when the batter sends the ball flying right back at you. Every. Single. Time. May the Flying Spaghetti Monster bless and keep you; you're a good man, Charlie Brown.
William (doing the Snoopy Dance)
