Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: The Misfits "Don't Open 'til Doomsday" ::
So we've all heard about the "apocalypse." We know that one day it will happen. It's basically an inevitability hanging over us. The Holy Bible speaks of this huge production where the sea turns to blood, the Earth utterly shaken, etc etc. These are all fine and good, but in this modern age, man kind is not only a creature of science, but one that hardly leaves its couch. Here are some harbingers of the apocalypse that not only science could not explain away, but that your "Joe Everyman" should take notice of if they occur:
The Dead walk the Earth.
The eggs in your refrigerator hatch.
That ranting panhandler on the street corner is starting to make sense.
The BBC announces the end of Coronation Street.
The Jehovah's Witnesses stop coming by.
The President says to "Remain calm" in a televised address while being escorted to a fortified bunker.
Damon and Marlon Wayans tie for Best actor at the Academy Awards.
Star Wars: Episode III turns out to be really good.
OJ Simpson finds Nicole's killer.
The last Harry Potter book is available.
"Dogs and cats living together!!"
Meatloaf and Jim Steinman reconcile and put out "Bat Out of Hell 3"
M. Night Shyamalan remakes Soylent Green.
Pauly Shore is elected to a federal office.
All of those left socks you lost suddenly turn up.
All your canary says now is "repent."
The ZeroWing aliens give back "all your base."
Yeah these weren't exactly in the Holy Bible as a part of the Jebus's Prophecy, but if he saw them, I'm sure he wouldn't know what to make of it. I mean Pauly Shore alone is enough to blow someone's mind by his mere existence. So take heed, my fellow man, and keep watch. Also, pass along to the other readers any other signs of the apocalypse I may have missed.
