Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: She Wants Revenge "These Things" ::
You know how certain people explode into a round of snickers whenever they hear "Uranus"? Or "Lake Titikaka"? These particular words do nothing for me. Just because they sound funny, doesn't make them funny, in my opinion. In fact, I find the whole "Uranus" thing to be getting a bit old. What I find funny are the completely innocent words that have taken on a certain, shall we say, "context." Not sure what I'm getting at? Here's a list of these simple little words that I find funny, no matter how they're being used and maybe then you'll see what I mean.
Moist
Wet
Hard
Stiff
Carpet
Box
Throbbing
Wrinkly
Area
Back porch
Re-entry
Region
Dangly
Crack
Penetration
Queen
Insert
Oh, don't act all high and mighty like like I'm some giggling fourteen year old and you're the pinnacle of sophisticated humour. You might ask "what brought this on?" Well, a few weeks back, this new television series called The Nine started and they had this bit of dialogue that I just couldn't get over. This middle aged woman drags her daughter who is a an attorney down to the bank because she believed her safety deposit box had been tamped with and robbed. When she confronted the bank clerk about it, he said some along the lines of "Ma'am, no one has been in your box. In fact, I can safely say no one has been in your box for over twenty years!" This exchange sent me over the edge in a fit, and I realized that yes, the simplest of things like an ordinary word used just so is all it takes sometimes. Is that so bad? Can't we all use an easy laugh every now and again? Think about that the next time an advert comes on for a flooring specialist who claims he can "lay your carpet the next day!" and see if you don't let out a giggle.
William (check out my back porch)
