Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: David Bowie "Dance Magic Dance" ::
Last week the first half of the last Harry Potter movie opened in cinemas everywhere. If you have been visiting this website at all for the last few years, it should come as no surprise that I am a fan of Harry Potter things. I have read and own all of the books. I've seen all of the films to date in the theater. It has characters that I like and the whole thing just plain entertains me. That being said, the Harry Potter universe is not, of course, without its flaws. Here are just a few of the things that, if I stop to think about them, really bother me about the magical, wizarding world of Harry Potter:
So, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and all of the children at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry go there to master magic. Okay. Great. So..... these kids are never going to need like, I don't know, MATHS OR HIGHER READING SKILLS EVER? Who cares about Calculus when you can turn a frog into a park bench, am I right? But come on, seriously, when you think about some of the spells covered within the Harry Potter books, you'd think these kids would need to study some Latin or something? JUST magic? REALLY? I don't know. Seems like there would be some right dumb kids graduating from there.
Speaking of spells, what's the deal? I mean, it's covered within the continuity of the books that magic can be performed by witches and wizards AS CHILDREN WITHOUT WANDS OR SPELLS. So, why are there any spells at all? If they can perform magic by instinct and sheer force of will why learn some silly incantations? Why wave a stick around?
Also, these people have and use magic every day. What I want to know, then, is why are there any ugly, fat, or unattractive witches and wizards around AT ALL? You'd think if one can turn a mouse into a tea tray that one could have blemish free skin? Or be thin? Or have nice hair? Or have perfectly sculpted eyebrows or whatever. Don't act like that's not how it would be in real life. Come on, now.
And while we're at it, why does Harry need glasses, then? Seriously. Couldn't he, say, USE MAGIC TO CORRECT HIS VISION?? You'd think that the wizarding world in general would want to find ways to use MAGIC to CURE medical issues, troubles, and imperfections. I have no idea why any wizard should live day to day without perfect vision. That is just silliness.
Which brings me to Mad-eye Moody, what with his fake eye and leg and all. A person who can use magic has false body parts. Really? Why not GROW THEM BACK or something?
Do you all remember that Time-Turner thingy Hermione had in Prisoner of Azkaban so that she could go back in time and take two classes at once? Well, why the HELL didn't the Ministry of Magic whip out some of those babies when Voldemort started his rise to power? Or why didn't Harry use it in Goblet of Fire to go back and save Cedric? Did Hermione give hers back at the end of third year? I don't think it was said explicitly, but even so, those doohickies still exist out there, so why not use the heck out of them to stop fucking Dumbledore from being murdered? If they can dust them off for little girls to take school classes, you'd think it would be okay to use them in case of emergency, as in Voldemort and his followers killing a bunch of people and causing loads of mayhem and property damage. But what do I know?
Wizarding society doesn't seem to have advanced much, either. Sure, they don't depend on scientific invention to propel them along, but they do seem to have been stuck in the same artistic and design rut foe centuries. They all seem to dress the same they have for hundreds of years and operate out of the same ancient buildings and reuse the same old stuff constantly. Now, nothing against antiques here, but for an entire worldwide society to still make brooms like the brooms of over a hundred years ago just doesn't seem smart. Why hasn't the wizarding world experienced some sort of Renaissance yet? Why haven't there been various movements in art? Maybe the wizards have operated outside of the muggles for too long and are experiencing some sort of cultural lag or stall or something (Pants are pretty great, you know! You wizards don't need to go around in ROBES all the time!)
I'm not entirely sure WHY the wizards keep themselves secret from the muggles these days. I recall it being said in the book that muggles would rely on/want the wizards to solve all their problems using magic. Um. The WIZARDS rely on magic to solve all of their own problems and that's okay, but helping muggles to solve their problems with magic is not? I don't understand that logic. There's GOT to be more behind it than that, but it's never really covered any more that that one, blanket statement. Inquiring minds want to know!
So, yeah, there's all that stuff. I know it's splitting hairs, really, but in a world with MAGIC in it you'd think they'd have solved many of the everyday issues we muggle people have like bad vision, bald spots, patchy skin, obesity and amputations. But then, when everyone goes to a school where they don't learn to read above a primary school level, it should perhaps be no wonder why there hasn't been any advancements in art and technology in hundreds of years. There's a few mysteries solved, I suppose.
William the Bloody (stickler)
