Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Screaming Dead "Paint it Black" ::
Well, the ol' American Thanksgiving was this past Thursday, which is always summarily followed by the darkest of retail days, the day known as Black Friday. In case you don't know, Black Friday is the day after American Thanksgiving because for some bizarre reason, stores decide to start their X-mas shopping with a bloodthirsty vengeance and have these crazy-ass sales. It's the kind of sales where they advertise $200 leather jackets on special for $50 but for a limited time only!! Amazing DOOR BUSTER sale event going on Friday from 8 to 10 am!! Stores opening an hour early for post-Thanksgiving sale!!! DOORS OPEN AT 4 AM FOR SPECTACULAR SALE!!! I am not kidding. I saw a commercial saying their store would open for a special Friday only sale at 4am. What the hell?? Who in their right mind is going X-mas shopping at fucking 4 in the morning?? I don't know about you people, but for me, that's sleepy time. I mean, I'm just rolling into bed around then. I'm not going to forego on sleep to save some money on X-mas gifts. Did any of you who read this get up before dawn and go shopping? I know you guys are kinda weird and all, I mean you're reading this, but I like to think you're at least a LITTLE bit sane. Never mind the 4 in the morning stuff, you'd just have to be plumb loco to go out and shop on Black Friday AT ALL. There are middle aged women out there who WILL KILL YOU to save 25% on a Cashmere sweater. Have you ever seen a 50 year old lady frothing at the mouth in a J C Penney store? Scary shit, man. I'm telling you, if you don't live in the United States and therefore do not have a Black Friday where you are, you are damned lucky. Personally, I want no part in it. I already dislike crowds and shopping, so I definitely do not want to combine the two into some kind of twisted Dawn of the Dead nightmarescape. I choose to stick it to capitalism and not buy a single thing on Black Friday. I stay home, maybe go to work if I must, but I keep the hell out of any shops. You heard me, capitalism! I'm not going to encourage this kind of horrific behaviour one bit! Why is the day after Thanksgiving such a hot shopping day, anyway? My gut is so full of turkey that I want to sleep for three days, never mind setting an alarm in order to make it to a discount sale event. Also, often I have relatives in town, and I'm sure others do as well, and I'm not about to skip out on my visiting relatives in favour of a sale. Sorry Auntie, I know you only come to town once or twice a year but I can't hang out with you now because Sears is having a sale! Not bloody likely. Okay, wow, this is turning out pretty jumbled and it's really more of a RAMBLE than a rant, but what're you gonna do? Long story short: the whole day after Thanksgiving Black Friday super spiffy sale events are creepy and I won't go to them. If you, however, did go to one or some of them, I would like to hear about it. It'd be like your version of a Vietnam war story. "So there I was... 5am at Best Buy... it was me, a blue haired old lady, and the very last XBox 360 on the shelf for half price.... one of us had to go down, and it wasn't going to be me..."
William (every day is black)
