Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Depeche Mode "Nothing" ::
Despite the fact that I write about various topics every week, there are only a few that I feel I actually REALLY KNOW anything about. I have spent an inordinate amount of my own personal time actively enjoying and researching them to the point where I can confidently talk about them with depth and intelligence. These subjects are, of course, totally and completely useless.
The band The Cure. I can discuss their history, band members, albums, singles, b-sides, concerts, line up changes, side projects, album art, lyrics, style, and subject matter with expert level fanaticism. I own books (yes, plural) about them which I have read cover to cover. I have also read the liner notes to their records and the bio and updates on their website. I know the words to approximately 100 of their songs by heart and can tell you what LP, EP, or single it is from. I could discuss their role in the development of music and pop culture today as well as what influenced THEM. I could write a thesis paper on their importance, significance, influence and talent. This is all well and good, but not very useful as no none I know aside from my brother and one other guy even owns any of their records, so I don't even have anyone with whom to hold these discussions.
The Chris Claremont run on Uncanny X-men. I started to read comic books when I was 14 years old and the first ones I read were Uncanny X-men. The X-men had a Saturday morning cartoon on the air at the time, which aided my curiosity. I have read the entire run from Giant-Sized X-men #1 (pre-Claremont) through the X-men #1 Jim Lee launch. I wasn't too impressed by David Cockrum's art work, but when John Byrne took over, did I stand up and take notice. Seeing his art work is when I started to take note of who was drawing, and as such can tell you the various artists who drew Uncanny X-men from 1975 to 1991 (my personal favourite was Paul Smith). When you're a young-un like I was and X-men is the first comic book you have read and you think it's the neatest thing in the whole wide world, it really sticks with you. Oh, the things I could tell you about the Brood aliens, Psylocke's origins, the Mojo-verse and Longshot, The Siege Perilous, The Acts of Vengeance, the X-tinction Agenda, Nanny the Orphan Maker, the Shi'ar Empire, and other subjects no one but me gives a toss about.
1950s Science Fiction films. Unlike the Cure discography and Uncanny X-men comics, 1950s science fiction films is not so limited, so of course I have not seen them ALL. That would be nearly impossible. This is one of my all time favourite subset of film genre and I can find something to enjoy in almost every one of these films I see, so it's only natural that I have actively sought them out over the years and seen a great many. I could go on for hours comparing The Day the Earth Stood Still to Invasion of the Body Snatchers to Invaders From Mars. The recurring themes and character archetypes are all too evident when you see them by the truck load, but that's part of the fun. From It Came from Outerspace to Robot Monster, I could hold my own on the discussions of alien entities, characteristics, weaknesses, technologies, and goals. What aliens wanted to subjugate man versus the ones who would be our saviour versus the those who said they came to help but lied about it? I could go on for hours about all this junk, but is it relevant? Nope.
Why is all of my knowledge useless crap? How will this stuff help the world, make mankind better, or even improve my own life? When it comes to actual, real-life important topics, my understanding is there, but limited. When it comes to silly things like comic books, I'm an infinite well of information. What the hell? Why can't I retain anything useful in my noggin? Oh well, I'm going to go watch a movie with Boris Karloff in it. That always takes the pain away.
William the Bloody (useless information)
