Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Vast "Touched" ::
As an withdrawn and socially stunted sort of person, I am wary when I have to be in a crowded place. I don't like all the noise, confusion, and the fact that some strange person might touch me. I know how it sounds, but that doesn't make it any less true. And okay, it's not just crowded places, I rather don't like to be touched by people I don't know, period.
If you're my friend or close relative, then I don't care. Friends and relatives can shake my hand, hug me, slap me across the face, and poke me in the eye, and it won't bother me. Friends of friends though do not have this privilege and complete strangers, definitely not, so I don't understand these people (women mostly, sorry, but it's true) who feel like they can hug me when we've JUST been introduced. Okay, you're dating my best friend or you're his cousin in town for the day, big deal! Let me get to know you first, mmkay? I don't care how often my friend has told you about me, that doesn't allow you to invade my space!
Getting back on crowded places, yes accidents do happen where someone could bump you. Okay. I don't like those sorts of people who bump into you, stop, then start putting their hands you before asking if you're okay. Do you know what I mean? Someone might bump my arm and then they'll turn around and put their hand on my arm, sometimes even start rubbing the spot suggestively, then ask "Are you alright?" Well, I was before you started molestering me! Knock it off!
And then there are the confined crowds like meetings, or conferences, or parties and the touchy-feely people. When you're cooped up in a room with people who are vague acquaintances and friends of friends and one of these people feels like it's their duty to chat you up. This in of itself would be okay if you can get past the boring factor, but then they go and make it worse by touching me during the talk, you know, putting their hand on my arm, shoulder, or heavens forefend, my hand! What is the deal here? The conversation touch is, again, usually perpetrated by women, but the men are equally guilty of the conversation ender slap, pat or clap on the shoulder, arm or side as they walk away after a chat. I don't understand the purpose of this either, other than to make me feel uncomfortable.
So, now I sound distant and cold, but honestly, how would you
like it if some weirdo walked up to you and started patting you on the back?
It's not that I don't like physical contact of any kind, no, in fact I quite
enjoy being hugged by my family and friends, it's just when people who don't
even know me overstep their bounds and get in on it. If you get to know me, I
would be more than happy to wrestle you to the ground or something, but if you
don't, hands off!
William (no touchy!)
