Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Information Society "What's on Your Mind" ::
Have you ever noticed strange things? You know, like how hot dogs come ten to a package yet the buns come eight to a pack? Stuff like that?
Have you ever noticed how some touch tone phones don't have a Q or a Z printed on their keys while others have them crammed onto the 7 and 9 respectively? Why is there not some universal protocol for this? And while I'm looking at my phone, why don't they have ANY letters on the 1? What's so special about the 1 that no one designates letters on it? Huh?
I have noticed that while you can buy a box of only plastic spoons and a box of only plastic forks, but you cannot buy a box that contains only knives. If you want plastic knives you have to purchase a box of forks, spoons and knives all together. What the hell?
How come mustard and relish are available in jars from which you can dole out your condiment with a spoon, but ketchup is not? Sure, you CAN get mustard and relish in squeezable, plastic bottles like ketchup, but you don't even have the option to get ketchup in a jar if you wanted. Odd?
Why is it there are so many forms of digital black yet they all print differently? Why doesn't CMYK and RPG and 100% saturated (or whatever it's called) black print the same? I can understand why "rainbow" colours don't, but isn't black black?
Have you read that fine print on coupons which declares it is redeemable for like 1/20th of a cent? Why do they do that and has anyone ever cashed them in for monies before? Should I be the one to try this? Get twenty coupons together and go to some random store: "Can I help you, sir?" "Yes, I demand my penny!"
What's the deal with "flammable" and "inflammable" having the same definition? I had always understood the prefix "in-" to have negative connotations such as "inexpensive" being the opposite of "expensive," and yet, inflammable is NOT the opposite of flammable; they are exactly the same. Only not.
Weird, or is it me? And how many of you looked at your phone? What strange observations have you made?
William the Bloody (observer of oddities)
