Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: The Who "Substitute" ::
Ok, so maybe I got a little carried away with my feelings on last week's rant. This one is a more happy-go-lucky-feel-good type, in an attempt to not look so serious.
Signs that movie you're about to see might suck (a couple of these I'm "borrowing" from the cartoon show The Critic, because I happen to agree. The rest I'm making up right now.).
Is it based on an old TV show?
Does it give French Stewart or Lou Diamond Phillips above title billing?
Is it a remake of a classic?
Is the director's only previous directing experience for music videos?
Is Joe Piscopoe present in it an any capacity?
Is said movie The Last Days of Disco?
Is the movie part 4 of what was supposed to be a trilogy?
Does it have Chevy Chase and a dog in it?
Is there an actor you recognize starring opposite a dog/chimp/baboon/precocious child?
Is it an "odd numbered" Star Trek movie?
Is it live action and there are talking animals in it?
Is this movie directed by Roger Corman?
Well these aren't all the questions you should ask yourself before seeing a movie, but they're a start. And remember: "If the movie stinks just don't go!"
