Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: The Animals "House of the Rising Sun" ::
Have you heard of the American television program America's Toughest Jobs? I've only heard of it, and never actually seen it, but from what I gather, they make people participate in certain aspects of some of the most dangerous occupations in the country such as mountain rescue and even bullfighting. You know, if something like this can qualify as a television show, then I'd like to pitch something similar that's I'd like to see: America's Most Sucky Jobs.
I envision taking rich people who were born into a life a privilege and making them work as waiters, low level retail salespersons, telemarketers, call center operators, and customer service departments. I don't know about you, but I think I'd get a horrible little sense of satisfaction watching someone who never had to work in their life getting verbally abused because they served someone a salad and the tomatoes weren't removed. Or yelled at because they interrupted someone's dinner to try to sell them a new mortgage plan over the phone.
Like most people in the US of A, I've had my share of working retail, and as anyone out there who has as well can tell you, dealing with customers sucks ass. I know what it's like to be the worker who has an unreasonable customer think it's your fault their coupon expired last month and the sale ended yesterday. As a result, I know how to treat people in those sorts of positions with respect and patience. There is no reason I cannot point out to the waiter that I had asked for waffle fries instead of regular ones politely. I don't have to yell at him or treat him like he's an idiot to get my waffle fries. I've had angry customers treat me like that and I know it stinks, so I have vowed never to be that angry customer. I believe that if more people were put to work in these horrid jobs that they too would know what it is like to be yelled at when it wasn't your fault and take that as a lesson learned and treat these people who are just doing their jobs, a little better.
Have you ever overheard an angry customer say "how difficult is your job?" That probably pisses me off the most. That one sentence. It can make me curl up my fingers into a fist. And that is why I propose this show. To teach these people EXACTLY how difficult that job is. They'll get to learn first hand just how sucky it is to be on your feet all day waiting tables for minimum wage and tips, getting your butt pinched by horny business men, cleaning up after the pair of toddlers in booth 3 who decided to pop ketchup packets at each other, and best of all getting berated by some white collar bitch who thinks you're dumb because you brought her a salad with dressing on it when she wanted it on the side! Oh, how I would enjoy the bitter irony of that. I'd love to see CEOs who oversee hundred thousand dollar deals try to talk some random, short tempered schmoe through the anomalies of their mobile phone bill over the phone by working for a Verizon call center or something.
What do you think? Would you watch that? Would you like to see if these born into riches types can take the same thing they dish out? If I haven't got you convinced yet, then let me tell you about season 2, CELEBRITY America's Most Sucky Jobs! That's right, come watch Donald Trump try to make it through working the Macy's returns & exchanges counter the day after X-mas! Now that is something I would pay money to see.
William the Bloody (aspiring producer)
