Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: Carfax Abbey "Cry Little Sister" ::
Since this is being posted around Halloween time and all, there is a current costume issue that I feel I must address. Somebody has to say something before this trend gets any worse than it already has, because if it does, then I think we will all descend into madness.
Sexy lady costumes.
Don't get me wrong here. I am NOT talking about ALL sexy lady costumes. As a matter of fact, more often than not I tend to be a fan. Also, there is nothing wrong with a gal wanting to get all dressed up and feeling sexy. Go for it. Halloween is all about the escape that the costume brings. Day to day a lady may feel obligated to dress a certain way for work, to be socially acceptable, and all that, but on Halloween, this is her chance to let loose and be a sexy nurse.
The above are fine examples of what I personally consider to be "acceptable" sexy lady costumes. The devil girl is a classic and who doesn't want to be a hot super heroine? Sure, one could argue that the Batgirl outfit is not very canonical, but way back when, Batwoman wore a skirt. This sort of light modification I'm okay with, but it seems that these days costume companies are hell bent on making EVERY THEME IMAGINABLE into a terrible "sexy" variation. Behold:
I'm sure some of you have seen this... thing. I have no problem with a girl wanting to dress up as a Ghostbuster. In fact, I wholeheartedly encourage it. But THIS? I don't know about you, but when I imagine a sexy lady Ghostbuster, this is NOT what comes to my mind. Hot pants?? Seriously?
NO. Again, I don't care if a girl wants to be Freddy Kruger for Halloween. More power to you if you can pull it off. But this? This is not Freddy Kruger. I don't even know what this is supposed to be. No wait I do: STUPID.
Wait... what? That is SUPPOSED to be a "sexy" Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle outfit. Just when you thought there were no unexplored avenues left for TMNT merchandising. Is there a demand for this? Girls can be ninjas, they can even be ninja turtles if they like, but dammitall, not while wearing this monstrosity, okay? I don't even comprehend what part of the turtle that skirt is supposed to be....
See? this silliness NEEDS TO STOP. Sexy Optimus Prime?? What the hell? Why? I don't even...
Too late. I can see the event horizon. A "sexy" Spongebob Squarepants costume... this could not... SHOULD NOT possibly exist, right? Why would... Who would want... What sort of weird fantasies are... I don't want to know, alright? Oh god... I'm having a brain hemorrhage... seizure... No... NO... Nooooooooo!!!
Surprisingly, I still have some brain function left after witnessing the terrifyingly uncalled for sexy versions of Optimus Prime and Spongbob. But, DO YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN? The sexy costume people have got to be stopped!! This sort of madness must not be allowed to go on! Someone needs to draw the line! I would have thought a sexy Spongebob would have been crossing it, but if that isn't safe from this plague, then what else is going to made into an undignified sexy costume in the not too distant future? A sexy elephant? Sexy Abraham Lincoln? Sexy Man-E-Faces? When there are obviously no limits, who can say! Truly none of us are safe.
William the Bloody (thanks to the internet, now bored with sexiness)
