Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: Depeche Mode "Nothing" ::
I don't get some people. I'm not exactly sure what to call this group of folks. They're predominantly white males any where from 15 to 50 years of age. I think I'm going to go with "white trash" for right now.
What is your fascination with professional wrestling? I don't get it. Sure, I could see watching a fight or two spread out over the course of your life. Maybe you've got the guys over and you've been drinking a bit and want something watch on the TV while you chill out at home. I can get that. What I don't get are the people who live and breath by the graces of the WWE. People who buy the posters and action figures and Pay Per View performances and live event tickets and can't miss a single televised event. I can see that the "wrestlers" involved are in great athletic shape and some of the things they can do demands physical strength and ability. Yes, okay. I don't think I could grab a three hundred pound man an execute a perfect pile driver. But to look at one of these events as though it had not been thoroughly choreographed with a pre-determined outcome is just plain silly. And you guys who are so into the little drama they try to place behind every match up are simply ludicrous. For one thing, the acting involved in the little "backstage" exchanges makes the acting in your average porn film look Oscar worthy. And we're supposed to pretend that this fight is going to be brutal because these two guys have hated each other for two years and not because they're paid to act like they hate each other or anything. Naw. That would only make sense! I hope you white trash guys know that they probably go out for beers together after shows. Oh, I'm sorry, did I kill your little illusion? Weirdos.
...and how's about that there NASCAR. I don't understand how people can watch cars literally drive around and around and around in the same circle over and over again. Good gravy actually watching one of those races live at the speedway must get incredibly boring, doesn't it? Oh wait, there's beer. It all makes sense now. Cars going round and round + beer = good times. OooooOOoo shiny cars... so fast and so shiny! Maybe we'll see an accident! Maybe stuff will esplode!! Nothing says quality entertainment like explosions!
Then there's... gulp... monster truck rallies. People filling a stadium to watch a giant truck drive on top of, and therefore crush, smaller, or normal, sized cars. Is it all it takes to get you interested in something for there to metal on metal crushing and stuff getting beat up and destroyed? I'll admit it's probably very hard to drive one of those monster truck dealies, what with the giant wheels and suspensions and all, but I just don't see the entertainment value of or watching it destroy a row of Cameros. Yes, that truck weighs NINE THOUSAND POUNDS of course it will crush those Cameros like Eliza Dushku crushed my heart beneath her boot heal. Whoopitty-doo!
I don't get it. You white trash fellows can go to your Monster Truck Madness and WWE Smackdown! all you want. I'm going to hire a crew of behavioural psychologists to try to make sense of it all.
William (scratching his head)
