Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
::Today's soundtrack: The Smiths "Hang the DJ" ::
As a mild alarmist, I wish I had a panic room. Okay, so maybe my alarmism is slightly more than mild. Sure, I have escape plans drawn up for every building I frequently visit in case of a zombie rampage, but that doesn't mean... okay, yes it does. Let's get past that. A panic room would be a pretty sweet thing to have and it might just be the thing to help me sleep better at night, literally.
If I had the money and resources, you bet I'd have a panic room. Everyone should have one! Who wouldn't want one? Maybe I'm in the wrong era, but I'd wager everyone in 1950s America would want one! That's right, a GOOD panic room ought to be able to withstand a nuclear holocaust, so it's just PRACTICAL! Lead lined concrete walls, air filtration, water filtration, self contained waste disposal, closed circuit surveillance of exterior, regular television, radio and CB, and of course piles of food, fire arms and ammunition are the bare essentials when putting together a decent panic room.
Now I'm sure many of you (many? do "many" people even read this thing?) are thinking that this is a wasted expense on a complex room that one may actually NEVER NEED to use. To that I say: you aren't actually an alarmist, are you? Oh sure, you talk big about YOUR zombie apocalypse survival plan and all, but when it really comes down to taking practical measures of preparedness, you slack off. You see, to someone like me, a panic room is not merely a handy thing to have just in case, no I'm pretty sure I would sleep in the thing every night. For starters, I have it, I paid gobs of money for it, I may as well get some use out of it, right? Why let it sit there collecting dust? Another thing being that what if the nuclear-zombie-apocalypse were to happen while I'm asleep? A fat lot of good having a panic room will do if I'm sleeping in another unprotected room when the fall out rains down! Am I right?
Of course if I'm going to be sleeping in it regularly, I'd have to make it all pretty. No metal and concrete look on the inside of MY panic room! No, it would probably have the inside lined with mahogany and Victorian style furniture inside. Make it look like a normal bed chamber instead of something... um... a crazy person would have. Did I just admit to being crazy? Maybe. But when we get blowed up in a giant mushroom cloud or eaten alive by the undead, THEN who's crazy?
William the Bloody (Yes, I did say "when")
