Salutations, traveler of The Internets! Welcome to William's Bloody Hell, so named after our founder, Sir Bloody William.
He is seen in the likeness above in a rare, 19th century woodcut. This
image was rumoured to have been
commissioned after a bout of unpleasantness
in the White Chapel district of London. Do enjoy your stay and peruse our many, varied offerings, much of which cannot be found elsewhere!
:: Today's soundtrack: The Makers "Sicko Sexual" ::
So, I'm a sicko. It has been decided. I mentioned a year ago that I have one odd sense of humor (Rant 46). Well, not just odd, but dark and twisted sometimes. I hadn't realized just how bad it was until....
I was at work. A coworker and I were reading the tiny local paper about the grand jury indictments. All the indictments for the whole state get decided on and then printed in the paper, see (I live in a small state). Blah blah blah... so-and-so brought up on drug charges.... blah, bad checks.... and there it is: a middle aged man indicted for sexual conduct with a 10 year old girl. This is an awful thing, yes. Terrible. Monstrous, even. So much so, that the person I was reading the paper with calls in everybody else so they can hear the news (the man in question was a native to our town). The paragraph concerning the old pervert and the 10 year old gets read aloud. Everyone mutters something of outrage:
"I can't believe it!"
"Disgusting!"
"10 years old! That's horrible!"
But what do I say? The only thing I felt I COULD say at the time:
"Yeah. She was probably dressed like a slut."
Everyone else in the room goes silent with horror. They just stare at me. One guy claps his hand over his mouth and starts to laugh. Not because he thought what I said was funny, but because I actually said it out loud in mixed company. After a short while of uncomfortable staring, I reply, "What? I 'm just being dark!" The guy who started laughing says "Oh, William, that is just so... so... you," laughs some more and then leaves.
Let me explain myself, if you don't get it. She was probably dressed like a slut is funny to me here because she is ten-freaking-years-old. Meaning, there is no way possible she could be dressed like a slut. There are some 16 year olds out there who can dress themselves and slather on the make up and my gravy look like they're 21 and a guy can actually be clueless. But a ten year old, there is no way in Hell that she could pass for over 18. So you see, I'm trying to play off that in an ironic way, not literally!!
Am I crazy? Did I go too far without realizing? My coworkers
were looking at me as though my remark was just as bad as the actual assault on
the girl itself. Like I was some soulless, evil creep. What do you think? Funny or
just plain not right? Should I seek help immediately? Maybe you should all go
screaming into the night away from me right now.
William (sick freak or comedian?)
